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Thursday, October 9, 2014

You Can't Pick Your Friend's Nose

This is Day 9, and I think it's probably a super good time to remind readers that I didn't pick these topics.  I just accepted them from the "masses".  So if you're a first time reader going, "these are some of the worst topics I've ever seen blogged" then please don't shoot the messenger.  

The official topic was listed as "You can pick your friends. You can pick your nose. But you can't pick your friend's nose". 

And that's a lie.  You can. I think if you were really close friends, and your friend was unable to pick his nose, he'd THANK you for picking it, and while my disagreement with the topic is hypothetical, I am basing it on past experience with family, because...I have picked the following peoples' noses:


  • Leslie - Strapped to the operating table like Christ on a cross, Leslie croaked through anesthesia-choked throat, "will you put that Q-Tip in my nose and scratch it please?" as she gave birth to our first born daughter, Emma.  And I did.  And she purred like a kitten and thanked me profusely.
  • Emma - Maybe it's not nose-PICKING...so much as nose...plunging.  Bulb-syringe.  Oh my god, that must feel ridiculously uncomfortable.  But man does it do a great job of clearing out a mucous clotted nasal cavity when your daughter is too young to know how to blow her nose.
  • Lily - hell, just the other day, I noticed she had something going on there and I freed her nose from that booger's oppressive yoke.

You could argue that sure...they're FAMILY...and that's true, but Leslie is no blood relation (State of Pennsylvania checks these things out thoroughly before they grant the marriage license) and our friendship was established long ago. 

I feel like myth busters on this one.  Myth:  DEBUNKED!


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