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Wednesday, December 17, 2014

Ornamental

I'm sort of pissed at myself in hindsight.  When I grew out my facial hair, it was not originally out of any desire to go hipster.  My wife likes when I let it grow out, and for the longest time I fought it, growing it just after Thanksgiving, keeping it cropped short, then shaving it in the Spring, like a lamb.  But last year I grew it out...and then just never shaved it.  It's still really short, more like a two week shadow than a proper beard, but the look has grown on me.

Heh...grown on me.

Anyway, as I said, I grew it out as long as it's ever been not in an effort to go hipster chic, but for something more important...and before you say Movember...no.  No, I needed a longer beard to lend authenticity to my goat man/satyr Halloween costume.  A proper goat man has a beard.  So I grew
one.
  
It was only after I shaved it all off and let it grow slowly back to its two week growth length that I saw something on Facebook and I realized what I had to do.  And by then it was too late.  I haven't trimmed my beard for a week and a half, but there's no way that I can pull off in the remaining two weeks what I wish I could do...what would probably take a couple months to do...

And now I'm pissed, because if I'd have kept growing it I would have the most kickass Christmas beard EVAR.
 

Tuesday, November 11, 2014

Chicamon!

We watch a loooooooot of Wiggles here.  A lot.  We've seen so many of their videos.  We finally even saw them live.  Something that's confused me though...lately in all the videos Anthony says something that sounds like "Chicamon".  He does it in a way that suggests it's "cool".  Like sometimes he'll say, "Chicamon!  Oh yeah, man, oh yeah."  And he'll be wearing "cool" clothes when he says it.  Or I guess what passes for cool.  In the 1930's.

Anyway, one morning Lily and I were busy watching the Wiggles and I asked my friend Bec about it.  I figured she's an Aussie...maybe she knows what it means.  Maybe Aussies are constantly saying "Chicamon" about shit and we all just sort of shake our heads and mutter, "crazy aussies" under our breaths like when Benny Bandicoot says, "a whole bunch of galahs in an outback billabong" in one Wiggles episode and I just shake my head and wonder why.  (According to http://www.koalanet.com.au/australian-slang.html that means, "a whole bunch of loud birds in an oxbow lake cut off by a change in the watercourse.")  Whatever, Benny.

Anyway...for my birthday, Bec took the audio messages I sent her on Facebook, and my Bitstrip character...and ANIMATED THEM!!!  It's animated Jim!  Seriously, I couldn't love it more.  Honestly, Bec had no idea what my expressions or gestures were when I sent those messages, but...she's like REALLY close. 

By the way, we think that what Anthony is saying is "Gee C'mon".  Because Bec says that Aussies say "c'mon" a lot.  Regardless of what it is, it makes virtually no contextual sense the way that dipshit uses it in the Wiggle videos. 

Without further adieu...Cartoon Jim's Vlog about Chicamon!


Friday, November 7, 2014

Going up

Emma's on day three of her grievous knee injury.  Not to make light of it...because she is injured, and a doctor with a medical degree and everything diagnosed her with "Maybe a knee sprain". 

This elicited a scoff of indignation from Emma who I think was holding out for something more serious, more 'interesting'..."*Maybe* a sprain.  What's that?"  Her "maybe" dripped with sarcasm so effortlessly thick I couldn't help but feel a surge of pride.  Suspicion of medical profession?  Check.

She'd been told she could ditch the crutches whenever she felt comfortable without them, but she decided that her first day back at school she needed them.  I suspect, however, that it was because she felt the presence of crutches would aid her plea to use ...the school elevator.

She got a key to the elevator yesterday.  She's allowed to take two friends with her for "safety reasons". 

This morning she came down without the crutches and told me she was going to try to do school today without them.  I argued that she should wait until this weekend.  We compromised.  She's took the crutches to school but will stash them in her locker unless she needs them. 

"They'll fit in your locker?" I asked skeptically.
"Stand up," she replied.
I stood. 
"You're my locker."
I stood stiffer and straighter.  She reached for the handle, imagining where it might be, then holding the crutches up in front of me.  She touched my forehead measuring it as the height of the locker. 
"Click."
She looked at me.  "What was that?"
"I'm a locker.  I clicked when you touched me.  I'm getting into my role."
She rolled her eyes at me.  "Yeah, they'll fit," she said.

I drove her to the bus stop.  She felt ready to ride the bus today too.  Yesterday she didn't think that would work.  Today things are looking up. 

For me too.  I'm more myself again.  Back to even keel.  Chipper.  Going up, feeling better.  My emotional elevator, Emma's leg, and the school's elevator...all heading to the top floor once more.