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Thursday, October 30, 2014

Cats

The final official day of the 30 days of random is "Cats".  Not the musical, which I've never seen, and which is vaguely unsettling, but the furry little animals about which the musical was made.  I assume.

So cats in general means Dobby specifically.  Cats are a spectrum.  A good friend of mine told me that.  Or maybe it was gender.  I can't remember.  But until I do, I'm going to just say "X" is a spectrum where X = "whatever we happen to be talking about".  Also, the same friend says I plagiarize her, so if you enjoy this blog, you should know, that it's really mostly not my own work, it's hers, and I just put my words on her ideas.  I THINK that's what she was getting at.

Things I've noticed about Dobby:

1)  He will choose to lie down on top of something that does not seem like it would be comfortable.  Always.  So shoes for example...we pile our shoes by the door.  Dobby will walk over to the shoes, and just sort of...collapse across them.  Then he'll sleep.  On the shoes.

2)  He is destroying the upstairs carpet.  He picks the transition strip between rooms, insinuates his little claws in there, and then pulls and scratches and claws it until the carpet thread separates from the pile and little fibers are scattered all over the upstairs hallway.  Emma says, "Well...weren't we getting hardwood anyway?"  I think she's still afraid we'll give him away.  "Yes, Emma, we are.  But not today.  And not tomorrow.  So in the meantime, Dobby is tearing our carpet to shreds."

3)  At night when he's awake, but lounging, he does so just at the top of the stairs.  In the dark.  So that I trip over him and fall down the stairs and die and he can eat my corpse (I assume).

4)  He will stalk over to you as if he's ready to jump on your lap and get attention, but then stand there and look at you while you make a total ass of yourself saying, "come on, Dobby, come here, come on baby, hop up, come on Dobby...etc."  You'll pat your lap or the chair or whatever the whole time you're doing it, and like three or four times you'll see his muscles tense and he'll start to move, as if to jump up next to you...I think it's when he senses you're running out of steam...and then about three minutes later he'll just walk away.

5)  He meows plaintively and scratches your legs when he's hungry.  You get his food out and he twines his way between your legs as you carry it to his dish, nearly tripping you, then you put the food in his bowl and he sniffs it and walks away.

6)  He sheds.  A lot.

7)  He senses when you're about to take his picture and he moves.  He can be fast asleep.  You could be doing jumping jacks next to his head and he'd just sleep through it, but the second you get a camera out, he's off in a blur.

8)  My wife and I are allergic to him, but the kids aren't. 

9)  He has a majestic tail.

10)  He scratches the shit out of our leather furniture.

11)  He's still our cute little Dobbykins, and he's family now, despite his many many MANY problems, he'll always have a place in our home.  Our tattered, smelly, fur strewn home.


1 comment:

  1. We got furniture covers for the leather furniture because it was getting mercilessly scratched. Grrrrr...

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