Wednesday, November 2, 2011


Leaving was hard, coming back felt good.  Our little family is whole again.

You may (or may not) have noticed an absence of the noisy gong or clanging cymbal of my ceaseless comments over the past week.  That is because we ripped our family apart and traveled to godless Wisconsin for a wedding ceremony.

I won't go into the details of the separation too much (since I just blogged them for Varda's Sibling Saturday post) except to say. . . we made the right decision.  As much as it hurt to be away from little Lily, we needed to be there for my wife's sister and husband, and it would have been torture for Lily.  Without being too defensive, I know that she was happy staying with her grandparents, and although she may even have missed her as much as we missed her (though I doubt it), she is better off having not made the trip.

The wedding was beautiful and non traditional in a way that only two beautiful and non traditional human beings with writers' souls could have made it.  Since 99% of the people who read this are women I suppose I won't be able to get away with not at least broad-brushing some of the details.

First you should know that my sister-in-law is borderline obsessed with the fifties.  She wore a really fetching throwback gown that was at once simple and elegant (my favorite).  There were no attendants, and to compensate for it, they had my wife officiate.  Wha???  Yeah, she did the ceremony, and she was BRILLIANT.  She started off a little shaky, it was touch and go there for a bit emotionally, but once she mastered it, the initial tremors in her voice and involuntary sniffs just made the whole thing seem more loving and special and she built up steam as she went.

The groom is a musician and had musician friends replete with fiddles and accordians and drums and such.  They played folksy music that wouldn't have been out of place at a Renaissance Festival. . . it was perfect for the venue, which was. . . charming.

She's 4'2". Seriously.  Small Church.
You know how they say something is like a caricature of itself?  This church was like a caricature of itself.  Like. . . think "charming" and "old" and "stave church" (if you know what that is) and then bring Walt Disney back from the dead and ask him to sketch up the plans for you and insert it into Snow White's wedding scene and you'll have the venue, in the middle of the woods, autumn-yellowed leaves fluttering down gently like golden snow. . . this tiny church.  Seriously, Emma (small for her age) peaked in the doorway and looked like she was full-size.  The seven dwarfs worship at this place.

The couple wrote their own vows, funny, and meaningful and personal and lyrical, they charmed even the bride's father (my father-in-law) who was full on grump about the non-traditionality (totally a word) of the wedding and the officiant and the location, and allowed himself to thaw into satisfied joy for his daughter and her soul mate.

Later, we all went to the reception which we helped decorate with twigs and gourds and leaves and birds. . . I know this sounds like an enchanted forest took a shit in someones banquet hall, but I swear the effect really was magical. . . and listened to music and ate good food.

My daughter was somewhat miserable at that point.  Bored, and for some reason, reluctant to dance (which is ridiculous, because she takes baton, acro, tap, ballet, and jazz dancing lessons.  Seriously 5 hours per week of fucking dance classes and she can't shake a leg at her aunt's reception??)  She got weepy when people tried to prod her out there, knowing she'd have fun.  Finally I roused myself from my own comfort zone, picked her up and swooped her onto the dance floor.  We slow danced and fast danced and once she was going she found she could not be stopped and later we had to have the smile surgically removed from her sweaty face.

But enough girly crap.  Cards won the series. . . great game 6, though I fell asleep before I saw the ending.  I drank beer and ate beef jerky and spat.

The End.

Oh. . . and CRAP!  I still have to talk about Halloween!


  1. I LOVE it! You did us girls proud, Jim! You know we would have revolted if you hadn't shared some details.

    Dare I say that your soft side came out again just a teeny-tiny bit??

    The venue sounds beautiful and so personal, which is just what a bride wants in her wedding. And what a great memory for your wife!

    Glad to have you back! :)

    BTW - any video of you busting some moves on the dance floor? Just wondering....

  2. ugh. . . stupid soft side. I need to do crunches or something.

    No video, but I was AWESOME.

  3. I am so glad you had a nice weekend! The wedding sounds perfect for the couple. We were thinking of you.. great post!
    and I am SURE that you were awesome on the dance floor..

  4. Great recap! I'm sure Lily had a great time being spoiled by the grandparents.

    If you were drinking a six pack of beer, with tequila shots with Enter the Dragon playing in the background, I think I could forgive you for your magnificant wedding details.

  5. @eabpic. . . i left sparks with my fancy footwork that the swirling of my suit fanned into flames of fanstastic!

    @autismwonderland. . . i drank wine from stave barrels that I lifted over my head while swatting the buxom serving wenches that passed with my free hand. Or maybe I'm just channeling my half-assed Halloween costume at this point.

  6. Well, I'm feeling I got a taste of Fred Astaire, Carson Kressley and Homer Simpson in this post... thinking The Three Faces of Eve?

    Glad that Lily had a good time with the grandparents and that you were able to coax Emma on the dance floor. And congrats to the Mrs. for officiating! Now, there has got to be some video somewhere...

  7. no videographer even. . . I'm safe.

  8. Jim,
    Love the costume, no more Wizard of Oz. I am loving the blog I am glad Ms. Leslie did a fine job officiating. Something else for that resume.

    Miss Aweeze

  9. awww. . . hi Miss Aweeze! I pray (ironic) that Leslie never needs a job that requires "minister" on her resume.

  10. Sounds like a good time! Too funny about your daughter not wanting to dance. No video? Yeah, if you dance anything like my husband, that might be a good thing lol

  11. @Rhonda - it WAS a good time. No video, no videographer. Unless my wife surreptitiously grabbed some footage on her iphone. . . but she doesn't really do that sort of thing. She's a minister for god's sake.

    @autsimwonderland - whew!

  12. Ladies you would have been proud of his dance moves. Plus he helped to make Emma feel less self conscience about her dancing.

    It was a great weekend but it sure sucked saying good bye to Lily and to see her so sad! I know she had fun and was better to stay at home but it was heart breaking for sure!!!

  13. i think it's short of acrobatics. They do handstands and round offs and cartwheels and etc. It's like a poor man's gymnastics. tumbling sans apparatus!

  14. short for. . . not short of. dumbass.