Saturday, February 13, 2016

Weekend Update

The tattoo guy hadn't contacted me by Thursday of this past week, so I figured I'd email him.  It's been a little over two weeks since we met and sat down to go over all the ideas...themes...features...look...of what I want him to do for me.  He said he's been having migraines.  I told him to give me the doctor's fucking note.

I didn't.  I believe him.  Anyway, he promised to have something to me by Sunday/Monday, so I'm assuming Monday and I'll update when/if he hits that date.

One of the reasons I pushed the actual first sitting out to February 26th was so that the design wasn't rushed.  So that I could make sure that I was getting his best, most well thought out, carefulestest design.  But maybe migraines interfered with that master plan.  We shall see.  If I'm not happy with it, I'll just push back the date.  It's too much money to go into with any trepidation apart from..."will I pass out when he starts jabbing me" sort of trepidation.


Lily, after maybe three or four weeks of multiple accidents per day at school has strung two accident free days in a row together.  Potty training has always been a huge stresser for me.  For us.  So it's been sort of a trial, and my patience really needs to be spot on because I recognize how upset it makes me when she struggles with that.

Anyway, call it regression, maybe she was sick?  But...puberty is coming for her.  And probably her body is feeling really different and weird, and she really doesn't have the sorts of tools in her tool box to handle those feelings.  She's been lashing out a bit more over the past few weeks, and that too seems to be settling down.  I think...I think my little girl is growing up.

And it's very scary to face that without Leslie.

And it's not that people aren't willing to face it with me.  It's a comfort level thing.  I was able to talk to Les about just about anything.  I was comfortable.  I don't really have that same comfort with anyone else.

I'll be fine.  Lily will be fine.  The family will be fine.  But it's out there, and it's scary, and it's something I have to face and address.


I have to do my taxes.  This year is the first in a long time that I've considered having an accountant do them.  Turbo Tax seems like it would struggle picking up the pieces of all the moves I've made since Leslie died.  Insurance payouts.  Rollovers.  Social Security benefits.  I'm going to still try it, I just need about six hours on a given day of time to focus on it and hammer out the details.  If I fail...I'll box it all up and take it to an accountant.

I'm scared of what the "return" will look like.  Maybe there won't even BE a return.  I just don't even know what to expect.


Trunk Club starts up again this week.  Did I write about Trunk Club?  Hmm.  *searches blog*  Okay, yeah, I did.  But mostly just in passing.  Trunk Club is this "free service" app where they send you a trunk full of clothes to try on based on your size, life style, and tastes.  A stylist works with you to determine what you want, then fills a box full of stuff that they send to you free of shipping.

You open the box, try on the clothes, and keep what you like (and pay for it).  And you send back the rest free of charge.  So the big downer of Trunk Club is that the branding is expensive as fuck.  Way more than I would typically spend on clothes.  I talked to the stylist about the price point of the stuff they were sending and her response was...the price point is the only reason the shipping and stylist advice is "free".  Which is fine.  If I have a huge problem with it, I can just quit.

On the plus side, her argument that If I wanted to update my wardrobe then getting a few well-made high-quality "essentials" and then supplementing that from the mall, was probably a good plan.  Also on the plus side, it's given me ideas about less expensive clothes to buy based on some of the outfits she's put together for me.

For example...She sent this really nice pair of shoes and belt that she had paired with three or four outfits in the trunk.  I really liked the look, but cringed at the price tag on the shoes.  I think they were $300.  Not sure.  I bought a sweater and a pair of jeans and maybe a shirt and sent everything back.  The shoes were actually too big because my foot is so narrow, but it was a really nice look.  The next day I went to DSW and found a pair of shoes that looked enough like them that they passed my cursory inspection, and paid a quarter of the price.

So I am starting that up again this week.  I told her I'd hit my limit last year and she said she'd contact me in January about starting up again.  Anyway, if you see facebook selfies of me it's probably because I just got a new "outfit" and I like it.

Oh...I forgot to mention.  They send you a sticker for UPS, but if you don't want to take it back to UPS and ship it...they'll send out a request to pick it up.  From your house.  It's suuuuuuper convenient.  But the clothes are spendy, at least by Pittsburgh middle class standards.  Anyway.


Speaking of new looks, I'm going back to my barber tomorrow.  I like the haircut she's been giving me despite the fact that I still do not look like David Beckham.  I mean, that's the one thing I really ever tell her when I sit in the chair..."Make me look like David Beckham."  And she's more or less failed every single time.  I still look like me.

Not me.

Mister Goods and Grooming is in Lawrenceville.  I like the concept.  It's like the typical salon experience...but mannified.  I know when Les used to get her hair done they'd give her a glass of wine and shoot the shit, and she loved that atmosphere, and at Mister, they offer you a beer or's fun.  Lawrenceville in general is fun.


Speaking of's Valentine's Day.  And maybe some of you are wondering whether this is a hard time of the year for me.  It's really not.  Leslie and I went to dinner on Valentine's Day, but that was really it.  The "holiday" was sort of forced upon us.  She was never a huge Valentine's kind of girl, but we usually would buy a couple little things for the girls, and a card for each other, and maybe have a nice dinner out.  Anyway, I'm just saying, it's not a painful day for me.   Besides, I have a valentine's day meeting with my barber.  So romantic!


  1. It's ok, David Beckham is overrated.

  2. It's ok, David Beckham is overrated.

  3. Cannot help but love and admire your honesty, your humour and your strength (as well as your admitted 'weaknesses' that only serve to prove you human) Your stories and life experiences help me daily as I & my daughter take on this world together alone and I cannot thank you enough for everything you share here on your blog. I laugh, I cry, I realize my girl isn't alone in this big scary world (& that I am not either).
    Mad love and respect for you and your girls.

  4. Maybe you can go for the look on the Mister Groom logo...full beard and all!

  5. Sounds like things are moving in a good direction for you. I wish I could find a salon that offered me wine. Who needs a therapist when you have a hair stylist like that?!

    My 13y.o. son was having accidents at school. After going over the time of day it was happening, his teacher and I realized he was only having the problem because he was forgetting to go to the restroom after lunch and his bladder wasn't able to hold out for the duration of P.E. Funny how something so simple can alter their routine.