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Thursday, March 1, 2012

The Greatest Blog Ever Posted - by me.

I know it's early, but the Olympics are coming.  They've already started advertising them.  Emma has already said, "We're going to watch the Olympics EVERY NIGHT," which I think she'll find tedious at some point, but more power to her.


The Olympics are coming and my children are training.  


There's the pommel horse:

Pardon the devil eyes.
Arms. . . getting. . . tired. . . 

The rings:




The balance beam:
Does this angle make my nose look big?
It DOES it makes my nose look big!

Why didn't someone TELL me?
Lily. . . laughing at my big nose.


And various sports not currently included in the official Olympic games but CERTAIN to be considered for future Games.


Stairplay (formerly called Competitive Badgering):


and finally. . . King of the Balance Beam Mountain Wrestling:


Alright, alright. . . maybe it's not the greatest blog ever WRITTEN by me (from a compositional standpoint, I mean), but there are certainly several excellent points in favor of it being the greatest blog ever POSTED by me:


1)  Lots of pictures and videos of children having fun.  And I know they're not your children, but they're cute, and the title does say "by me" after it.  And really, you look at your children all the time.  Aren't you bored with that?  Look at mine.


2)  Not a lot of words to bog you down.  Sometimes I get a little. . . verbose.  It's nice to have a break from all the words.


3)  No doom or gloom.  Just having fun.  With children!!


4)  Patriotic Olympic Theme.  It doesn't matter whether you're from my country or not. . . who isn't patriotic when it comes time for the Olympics?  I promise there are no USA!  USA!  Chants in the videos, so you can just picture your countrymen (and countrywomen) standing on the podium.

67 comments:

  1. I actually can't picture my countrymen and women standing on the podium because this upcoming Olympics is of the summer variety and Canada just doesn't really DO the summer Olympics. Well, I mean, we arrive and we compete, but there is no standing on podiums. That's just the way it is. We prefer the cold weather.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'll bet when they do King of the Balance Beam Wrestling they will totally take gold.

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    2. Yeah, summer is tough for us Canucks. But the Winter Olympics will be back before we know it.

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    3. Yeah, but Sidney Crosby will STILL be injured.

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    4. Emma has the best socks ever.

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    5. You have not even scratched her hosiery SURFACE!!!

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  2. Well, all of the giggles and smiles made up for the lack of popcorn! Oh, and Lily's outfit reminds me that I did go look for the owl shirt...not over my disappointment, nor ready to give up yet!

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    Replies
    1. poor purple. . . and I suspect the sleeves will be at 3/4 length before she's done wearing it.

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  3. Replies
    1. You just liked that you got pictures but no words.

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  4. I concede the crown to you! Loved the videos and laughter. And, um, yeah, that angle makes your nose look big. But it's a worthy sacrifice of your image for the sake of your children's Olympic futures! LOL

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    Replies
    1. *cries* *covers nose with handkerchief*

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  5. I'm missing the photo of you standing on the podium getting the gold for all that! You deserve it, that's some darn good parenting! (-:

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    Replies
    1. The Olympics don't start until July or something. . . this is strictly training. . .

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  6. Really sweet.

    You can't fake that sort of happiness Jim. I like your verbosity...it's not as if you go on like Lucysfootball.

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    Replies
    1. First Jim insults me on Elaine4Queen's blog, THEN I come HERE and YOU insult me. You two are SO IN TROUBLE RIGHT NOW SERIOUSLY NO JOKE.

      Fine, fine, I can't stay mad, I like you both too much, but don't EVEN think I won't dedicate like 1,000 words on EACH of you describing JUST HOW MEAN YOU ARE RIGHT NOW SERIOUSLY. SERIOUSLY.

      Delete
    2. I can't speak for Ken, but my comment on Elaine's blog was a COMPLIMENT. Listen, if bloggers got paid by the word, you'd be the Bill Gates of bloggers. . . and who doesn't admire Bill Gates?

      Delete
  7. I enjoyed your Olympic training videos and pictures. Great post! Ok, I think this could be best post ever...

    You know, the King of the Balance Beam Wrestling looks an awful lot like the shenanigans my boys partake in every night, an hour or so before bedtime! I had no idea that they were Olympians in training!! :)

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    Replies
    1. Shenanigans sound "unauthorized". This was completely authorized.

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  8. Hahaha, I always refer to myself as my children's jungle gym! I love the post :)

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    Replies
    1. Good for your back too. At least it was for mine!

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  9. It's very impressive! A medal contender for sure.
    Also? Nice moves, Gonzo ;)

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    Replies
    1. We have to work on her landings. What moves??

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  10. I think it's very close to the best post I've ever read.. and your kids REALLY ARE super cute. I can take a break from staring at mine to look at them for a while.
    Those devil eyes are just a natural reaction from kids climbing all over you for hours- a couple hours away from any children will clear that right up.

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  11. Really, your nose isn't that big. Honest!

    Verbose is an awesome word, I think. Verbosity would be a great name for an emo band.

    Your children are walking all over you, and they aren't even teenagers yet! ;-)

    Yes, I've had too much caffeine today. Why do you ask?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. they really ARE walking all over me.

      By any chance do you remember the "Zork" text computer games from the early 80s?

      There was a command, "maximum verbosity" that would get the game to describe every detail to you.

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  12. OMG I only have five minutes to comment before my programs start, this is going to have to be the fastest comment ever, which you know is totally painful for me aahh!

    Emma has rockin' socks. As someone who collects awesome socks, please let her know I approve most highly.

    Check out the television in the background of your first photo. The look on the guy's face is HILARIOUS.

    The joy in these videos - I can't even. Jim! You totally made my night, seriously. Thank you so, so much. I have a total cold Grinch heart and I just grinned and laughed and when the last one was done, I absolutely clapped. Not even kidding.

    (Also, what a trouper you are! I have totally been the one kids have been climbing all over. That is NOT easy. Ouchy, actually. You rock!)

    And I loved the annotations on the last video, hee! I can see why this took you so long!

    And, AND, I got to hear your voice, yay!

    This was such a win. Thank you!!!

    (I'll even forgive the total grievous wrongs I've suffered at yours, and Ken's, hands. Or, I guess, fingers. Or mean, mean words, or typing, whatever.)

    Yes, yes, I've totally missed part of my program. Sigh.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. that "guy" is Andre. Andre Harris, of Victorious. And he is FURIOUS with his "girlfriend" who is a total bitch. He's breaking up with her right there! He looks satanic.

      I annotated a few of them. I don't think they all "took"

      What "program" did you miss?

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    2. What's Victorious? I've never heard of that.

      30 Rock, but I had it on in the background. This was more fun, anyway.

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  13. LOL - great pic and videos! I LOVE IT!! You have a beautiful family but I'm sure you know that :D

    That last video - gave me the only flashback to the Jeffersons when the neighbor would walk on Mr. Jefferson's back? Or was it the other way around??

    And did I hear Lily refer to herself as Lily? Norrin does that a lot.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. had to be the other way around. . . the neighbor was that big tall British guy right? I can't see him walking on Mr. Jefferson's back. But now I have to find out.

      Yeah, she was. . . but it's closer to Wi-wee, which is twice as cute.

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  14. Awwwwwwww, so cute. If only there was a puppy in it too... :P

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    Replies
    1. But. . . I'm allergic! Next time we'll get Poopers in the shot.

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  15. Big fan of the few words lots of pictures format. I agree. This may be your greatest blog post ever. Very positive. Fun. Have a great weekend.

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    Replies
    1. It's a time-honored format for the focus challenged.

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  16. Your girls are so pretty! I suppose it is incredibly superficial of me to focus on their looks when I should be focusing on their amazing talent. But maybe I'm just a little jealous of their athletic prowess. Maybe I always wanted to be a balance beam master and I totally failed. Good thing they're so darn cute or I'd be super sad right now!

    And I agree, this is your best post in the history of evah!!!

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    Replies
    1. INCREDIBLY superficial. I'm so offended! Wait. . . that's not right.

      Thank you!

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  17. You are quite right about me getting sick of watching the same old kids day in and day out. It is rather refreshing to watch two little girls have some fun of their own!

    LOVE the pics and videos!

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  18. Lily definitely has the gold medal in the rings!! And what great coaches the two of you are! So many giggles! How did the jumping on Daddy's back feel? I had to laugh when I saw that part. It's good they are two light little girls and not pre-teen linebackers in which case a video like this would probably be posted by heirs...

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    Replies
    1. honestly, MOST of the time it feels pretty good. My posture is SHIT at work, so sometimes my lower back aches a little from the slouch of sitting at a desk all day hunched over a keyboard. Having little 55 and 35 pound weights compressing my spine is good PT. Until they step wrong (which they do a lot) or jump. . . (which they also do a lot).

      It was super fun letting them play on me like a jungle gym though and I hope we get to do it again tonight!

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  19. STOP! You must not hop on Pop! (It is Dr. Seuss's birthday, after all.)

    I am crushing super hard on your family.

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    Replies
    1. hahaha. . . how did this comment no get made until now? Cause you're the only genius that thought of it? Dr. Suess. Nice!

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  20. Best blog EVER! You're so right.

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  21. Ha!! This is *awesome*!! And Lily is so freaking adorable!!

    "I like you"

    She made my heart flutter!!

    And yeah, I agree with Karen, she def. has a gold medal on the rings! I love the pommel horse though, that looks so fun!

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  22. I don't quite understand what you mean,trouble again to explain,especially...

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  23. That was so fun to watch. You guys got QUITE the workout! lol Your poor back ..lol

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  24. Fabulous post: like a graphic novel and wholesome family series from the sixties. Definitely Olympic contenders, too!

    I love that you're such a family man, and it doesn't threaten your masculinity to show it! Rare, nowadays. Your kids are lovely, too.

    I'm not much of a "film" person. I much prefer anecdotes and story format, but this was a refreshing change. (So was the man-eating zucchini :))

    Wondering what you'll come up with next.

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  25. Hooray for you and your Olympians, J. Wonderful pics!

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  26. That looks like fun. My kids love climbing all over me. Hope your back didn't hurt too much after!

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    Replies
    1. nono. . . it hurt BEFORE. I was cured after.

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  27. This certainly creates a lot of pressure for the next post. I mean, how do you follow up "The Greatest Blog Post Ever" with anything less than great? Or at the very least, Really, Super Awesome??

    But it is a lovely photographic presentation. Lily looks like she can totally kick your ass, and in the "Stairplay" photos, like she might actually be BULLYING you. If you are being bullied, it's important to talk about it.

    I look forward to the next super awesome post in which you confess that your tiny daughter is, in fact, bullying you.

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    Replies
    1. she slaps me around a little. But I love her.

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  28. Like those olympics...niiice.
    my sons would probably like starting their own too.

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    Replies
    1. You should get them started right away! It's almost July!

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  29. You are beyond a good sport. My husband would never allow the kids to jump all over him like that. You are like super dad! And, for real, if curling can be a sport, anything can.

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  30. Thank you for your post - it really made my day! I just stumbled across your blog today, and found myself wanting to read more and more. I love the voice you have in your writing, I feel like I can hear your personality as I read, and it makes me laugh!
    I also wanted to say what a huge example you are to me! You seem like a very strong person, and I know that God is watching over you and your family!
    Your blog reminded me of this little video, that I hope you will enjoy. It is about a little girl, telling the story of her autistic brother. It is really tender, and also very profound, I think!

    http://www.mormonchannel.org/video/mormon-messages?v=2322239730001

    What do you think of it?

    I can't wait to hear back from you! Thanks again for all that you do - you really are an amazing example, and I love how you can find positive things in everything :) God bless~

    ReplyDelete