Big Timin' It VI - Childswork Guest Post

Today I'll be visiting Childswork-Childsplay.  It's a website devoted to "addressing the behavioral, social, and emotional needs of children."  They also have a section of their site for blogs.  That's where I'll be.  The topic is "Marriage with Special Needs Children."  I'll be replying to comments there, so please swing by, read it through, and give me a thumbs up...or down, or bless me with your marital/parenting insights!

Flush the sporns,
Jim

Ack! Guest Post!

I wrote a post for Jillsmo's "All Kids Do That" Series. 


I remember when Jillsmo first started taking volunteers to write a series of posts about "things that all kids do".  The premise (as *I* recall it) was the well-worn path to pissing off a parent of an autistic child, namely, marginalizing the behaviors by invoking the phrase, "all kids do that".


I remember thinking at the time that I didn't find that phrase as triggering as many parents seem to, probably because my oldest daughter, Emma, despite not being on the spectrum, *HAS* done some of the things that Lily does. 


I remember thinking how picky an eater Emma is, or her spitting incidents at school, or even some of her really brief phases with "no!" or potty accidents or whatever.  


I remember feeling like I really didn't have anything to contribute to the discussion because I've read a lot of autistic parent/autistic adult blogs and sometimes feel like our struggles raising Lily are mild by comparison.


I wasn't sure I was really "feeling" the subject matter.  


And then the first post arrived, and I dutifully read it, because I dutifully read anything Jillsmo sees fit to post on her blog since it's invariably either funny or heartwarming or informative, or some combination of the three.  And it was a post about picky eating by Sunday, at Adventures in Extreme Parenting.  Here's the post:  http://yeahgoodtimes.blogspot.com/2011/12/all-kids-do-that-part-1-picky-eating.html. 


In a nutshell, on advice from her pediatrician, she implemented the (parents of picky eaters will know this strategy) "When he gets hungry enough he'll eat" strategy.  It's what parents of NT (neurotypical/typically developing) kids do when they're at their wit's end.  It's what pediatricians say will always work.  It's what grandparents shake their heads and say to their children as they watch them struggle to feed their grandkids.  


And five days later he still had not eaten.  Anything.  It's NOT the same.  


And I found myself standing in the kitchen last week, irrationally irritated with my mother as she responded to a tidbit I'd mentioned about how autistic kids generally tend to have niche foods that they don't stray too far from with, "all kids do that", or some variation of that theme.  And I remember responding tersely and irritatedly, thinking of Sunday's post, "It's NOT the same."  


And I realized that she was just voicing something I had myself thought even a few months prior. . . it's variations on a theme. . . some kids ARE picky eaters.  But then I thought of my OTHER picky eater.  Emma hates new foods.  She'll cry if she has to try something when she's not given enough time to come to terms with it.  She once threw up when I forced her (I learned not to do this) to take a bite of roast chicken.  But we talked it out.  We can get her to eat.  Lily pretty much eats on her terms.  It IS different.


Sorry mom, I guess "all kids do that" DOES bother me now.  Thanks for helping with my self-realization.  I know you how much stress we go through making sure Lily gets enough to eat.  You just sorta got blind-sided by the reaction.


Anyway, back when I really felt like I couldn't contribute to the series, Jillsmo suggested "spitting".  I mulled it over and agreed, but didn't really have a timetable in mind, and sort of blew it off altogether until she dropped a quasi-reminder-guilt trip at my doorstep on twitter.  


So I wrote the attached installment for Jillsmo's series, "All Kids Do That":

Go >>HERE!!<<

Big Timin' It V - Autismwonderland

photo courtesy of www.autismwonderland.com

Back to our regularly scheduled program.  Less snark, more sensitivity.  I was approached to write a guest post for Lisa over at AutismWonderland.  When I asked if she had any topics in mind, she more or less said, "whatever", explaining that as a father raising two daughters any perspective I shared on her blog would be a unique perspective from her own posts.  She went on to say perhaps something holiday related, about expectations.


I agreed at once, and started a blog post on that topic before scrapping it.  Typically when someone asks me to guest post, I'm able to cobble something together relatively quickly, then I just fine tune it until I'm comfortable sharing.  This time I was coming up blank.  


I decided to ignore the whole "expectations/holiday" theme and just get writing.  It had been a week.  I started another post.  I wrote for what seemed like a long time.  I edited it.  I moved things around so that I felt it flowed better.  Then I read through it one last time before scrapping that too.


It was now two weeks since first being approached.  The topic itself was a distant memory at this point.  But I had an idea.  I had a vision in my mind of taking little brain clips. . . like a movie trailer of memories. . . a clip of Lily here, a clip of Lily there, written in present tense, as if it were happening right now, today. . . and after I started writing it, I tied the clips together with a summary.  When I was done, I found that what I had written could be summarized as follows:  A holiday blog post about expectations.  What the hell??  How had it even happened?  BRILLIANT!  Except I failed to give it a title.  MORON!  She doesn't even know I named it, because I'm just doing it now that I'm realizing I didn't.  We'll call it "Gentle Christmas".


Anyway. . . after you read the post, explore her blog.  It is fantastically organized and there's an amazing amount of categorized information and great blog posts there if you think to look for them. . . and. . . her blog logo is THE BEST.  I'm not kidding.  I don't know who ginned it up for her. . . but I strongly suspect she has an inside connection.


>>AutismWonderland Guest Post:  Gentle Christmas<<
or. . . because she's having issues with her Domain Name currently. . . try this:

>>AutismWonderland Guest Post:  Gentle Christmas<<

Big Timin' It IV: Just A Lil Fluff

I had a religious discussion with Jillsmo at Yeah.  Good Times. yesterday that was turned into a blog post on her website.  Although she called it a "guest post". . . it's really co-authored by her.  I hope not to burn in hell for it.  If you're religiously queasy. . . probably best you not read it.


>>The Hanukka Dialogues<<

Guest Post - The Squashed Bologna!

Continuing my meteoric rise through the ignoble ranks of unpaid  parent blogs, I have been asked (it almost feels wrong that I don't have to cross it out this time) to post a blog for Varda's The Squashed Bologna blogsite; specifically, her Saturday series called, "Special Needs Siblings Saturdays" or SNSS.

I don't really know how to make pictures into links, like I thought I did when I originally posted this as draft, so click >>HERE<< to link to my post, "Sunshine".

Big Timin' It - Deux

"Personal matters to attend to"

When Jillsmo approached the entire internet me personally about writing a blog posting for her wildly popular blog page, I was on the crapper honored.  I copied and pasted some piece of shit I had written as a journal entry sat down and put together something that I hoped would not cause her current fan base to abandon her on the spot would satisfy her that she'd made the right choice in bestowing the honor on me, a complete and total relative parent blog ignoramus newcomer.

Until Jillsmo returns from her 'personal matters', please read my blog posting on her website:  Yeah.  Good Times. 

Big Timin' It

Today I'm a guest poster.  You know you've gone big time when you guest post.  Because I totally was approached and aggressively recruited for this blog based on my amazing new writings to date which were unlike anything the host of Living Life With a Side of Autism had EVER SEEN!!! begged her to write the post.

I'm sorta new around these parts.  I've blogged for years, but started to blog more specifically about my little spud, Lily and her autism after watching Lou's Blog Video about "fixing" autism.  I'd link it, but I'll save that for another day.  Today, I'm only whoring out Living Life With a Side of Autism, because she graciously allowed me to participate in her "Girls Have Autism Too" guest post series.

Thanks, Jen