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Thursday, February 23, 2012

Little Celebrations

Work has been more. . . "worky" lately, and that has me busier than usual.  That's not a bad thing, because my days slide swiftly by and I'm not looking for filler, but the drawback is I don't really have much time to kill either reading blogs or writing them.


And nothing super noteworthy has happened since my last non-noteworthy blog, except that we had a great weekend where we celebrated 24 hours without a potty accident for Lily, which (since supplements started) has become something of a rarity, and one morning Lily spent about 30 minutes sitting on my lap giggling and hanging out, and that too is something of a rarity.


"I want more tickle" (morning hair)
I plopped Lily on my lap facing me one morning and we hung out that way for a while, with her scripting questions at me, and me answering, while we watched Victorious or some other Nick show.  And then my wife came down and joined the fun, and at one point Lily decided she was thirsty and said, "I want a drink of water."


"Your cup is on the table, Lil," I said, untangling myself from her so she could hop down and walk to the table to get her cup.


"I want to stay here," she replied from my lap.  And so my wife, knowing as well as I do that time spent holding Lily, who is normally so greased-piglet-squirmy and elusive, is precious, got up and brought Lily's cup to her so she could drink it before returning it to the table so I could resume tickling Lily, who giggled her ass off, sighing with relief as I stopped to let her breathe, before saying, "I want more tickle," and starting the whole process again.


She seems more accepting and appreciative of touch and affection.  Not that she ever really screamed about it or anything, but she had a way of wriggling free to let us know when enough was too much.


A few days later, Leslie was sitting on the couch or chair, I can't remember which, staring at me.  I looked around a little guiltily, wondering what new thing she'd said that I'd ignored or forgotten.  Her eyes kept glancing toward Lily and I kept not understanding what the hell it was I was supposed to be seeing, and finally with a disgusted sigh and rolled eyes she said under her breath, "She's holding my hand."  


And sure enough, Lily had walked over and was clutching Leslie's finger in her little fist while she just sort of hung out in our family room, scripting and gesturing with her free hand.  And we both got really quiet and really still. . . afraid to change anything lest we frighten the moment away like maidens approaching a sleeping unicorn.  


It didn't last long, maybe not even two minutes, but Lily initiated it.  Usually we have to corral her and insert our fingers into her fist. . . but she wanted it.


Just something we've noticed. . . 




40 comments:

  1. Turning cartwheels for you. What awesome progress!

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  2. That is so wonderful to hear. It shows that all the love that you have been surrounding Lily with has been quietly absorbed and noticed and needed and now she is in a position to start giving it back, it is there to be given. Love grows from seeds planted by those who love.... if you see what I mean?!!

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    1. Now if she can start giving back some of the MONEY! I kid. I get what you're saying. :)

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  3. Those are beautiful little tales...and SO noteworthy!

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    1. well. . . yeah, i guess they are sorta noteworthy. Certainly to us. Thanks.

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  4. This is SO sweet. I bet you'll never forget this day.

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    1. depends on how many all-nighters she subjects me to. . . my brain is already a little on the ragged edge you know.

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  5. That's great! And a little random but I love her purple owl shirt.

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    1. I almost blogged about that. What you are looking at is "Purple Dress" or just "Purple". It is currently her favorite pajama top and she requests it every night when she gets home from school. We have to wash it during the day and dry it when she gets home so that she has it every night. This just started happening about a two or three weeks ago.

      So anyway. . . yeah, she loves it too. "What's an owl say, Lily?"

      "Hooo, Hooo! I want to wear purple dress."

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    2. I just saw it DID get its own post! I can see why she likes it, it's quite fetching.

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  6. These moments are so special. I watched 50/50 last night, and it gave me the same feeling. Tender, touching (and sometimes comical)moments of real love and life in a family, even in the midst of all your struggles. Chapter by chapter you're writing an ordinary extraordinary tale that will probably resonate with so many people. I love it :)

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  7. I love the "little" moments that are really anything but...
    Happy to hear that you got to spend quality time with your daughter...wonderful!

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    1. We spend a lot of time together, but aren't together. . . if that makes sense. This was ACTUAL time together!

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  8. After several little steps you look back and realize you've come a long way.

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  9. Those are the best moments as a parent. Especially if your child has difficulty expressing affection. It's in those moments that we realise that our kids really do love us. That is definitely blogworthy.

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    1. I try never to read too much into it. Chop off the peaks and fill in the valleys emotionally, but I do celebrate the moment "in the moment" if you will. . .

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    1. i know you do! You're like the "celebrate the little victories" champion!

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  11. I already told you that you made me cry in the breakroom at work but I'm still coming here and writing it in the comments. Because you totally did. Yay for all of you. So happy for you. I'd send hugs but you know I'm totally "Arrested Development" about "no touching!!!" Just pretend I did, like a normal person who doesn't hate bodily contact does. It's safer. The thought is there.

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    1. I'm not particularly touchy-feely myself. Did I spell that right? touchy-feelie? Hmmm.

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  12. That makes me happy and warm. What a great thing for you guys! I know I was always sad that as a baby, Katie never really wanted to be rocked. I loved the greased piglet comparison. :) Enjoy the love!

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    1. Lily liked rocking so much she rocked herself. When she was one they had those little electric rockers in her daycare where they'd put the infants to sooth them? Well they had to turn hers off because she'd rock it so hard they were afraid she'd do a loop. . . or upend the thing.

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  13. That is so fantastic. We get those rarity's too. Well, hubs does. For some reason, I don't get the warm hugs or get to tickle and laugh.. instead I get to be the one that he wants to take CARE of him. Hubs gets all the good stuff. I'm so ok with that though. For 2 years their relationship was... broken, for lack of a better word. I love seeing that.. and hearing these kind of stories. It kind of breaks the Autism mold that people tend to hold our kids to. :)

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    1. spectrum. . . right? There are things about Lily that "all autistic kids do" that she doesn't do. I'm sure that's true of all the kids.

      Dads get to be the fun ones, but Lily is still a Mama's girl.

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  14. Those are the moments that feed the soul. Remember that when she does does something that makes you want to blow your top. Thats a big YAY!!!

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  15. LM is a wiggle monster too when it comes to snuggle time. We've kind of discovered that it has to be on HER terms or it's jut not happening. That said, I can REALLY appreciate how big a deal these two little moments were -- here's to hoping for LOTS more!

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  16. Your post seems pretty noteworthy to me and made me realize how much I take for granted. I am always rushing through moments with my kids. When they just want to sit on me and cuddle, I let myself enjoy it for a second and then start thinking of what I should be getting done. It's pretty jerky not to be able to savor those moments when I'm lucky enough to have kids that want that regularly. Thanks for the reminder and here's to hoping that Lily spends more time on your lap snuggling and enjoying your company.

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    1. They're only young once, i guess. My oldest daughter uses snuggling to stall for more time awake. . .

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  17. "I want a cup of water" and "I want to stay here" are two big and complete sentences!! That's really huge to me. It took a long time for Tootles to get to that point. I can appreciate how precious that was. Even better are those moments when they reach out for you. Having that mommy hand to hold is beautiful - I know the warmth that brings. Why do you downplay it? Is it the manly-man thing? It's really GOOD stuff!! Morning hair, eh? Sure... ;)

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    1. chop off the peaks and fill in the valleys, Karen. Self preservation, I guess.

      How about these doozies from this morning.

      (To Emma who was in the bathroom at the time)"I want to open the door."

      (after gaining access, she was holding a yellow mask and she dropped it. it fell on the toilet) "Uh oh, I dropped yellow on the potty"

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  18. YAY!!!! What sweetness!! I'm so glad Lily's becoming more physically affectionate and tolerant. I know you have been living without it, and would have continued living without it, but it's so much better now that you have it. :-) I'll keep my fingers crossed that you continue to get those brief hand-hold moments going forward!

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