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Saturday, January 12, 2013

The Price of Peace?

This is a weird post to write for me.  "Lots" of people read this blog who really don't have any idea about Facebook and its goings on, or social media in general.  My parents are a good example.  They're not on Facebook, and so they'll probably be reading this and thinking...what is this all about?  Regardless...

Social media is difficult because it's all written word.  There's no way to show expression when you type it up (short of including it in the text, I suppose *wink, smile*) and so any reader can insert his/her tone into the words and make one message sound very different than intended with their tone of choice.

So last week there was a big misunderstanding/altercation on Facebook that generated the previous post..."How to Be Insensitive" which sorta pussy footed around the idea that misunderstandings happen and here's now not to handle them...without actually talking about the misunderstanding that happened.  I pray this is the last ultra cryptic post I have to write.  It doesn't make for easy reading for anyone not involved.

This isn't a post about the misunderstanding.  It's a post about the friends who stood beside me and fought on my behalf while I was in the middle of it.  Because after all the apologies were offered and peace was made, Jim Walter looks like he comes out smelling like a rose, but Jim Walter's friends suffered in the process.  And so here's how it looks to my friends...you chose to make peace with a stranger at the expense of your friends.

And what I've been really struggling with over the past couple days is whether or not I think that's fair.  And what I'm really struggling with is that I can't just shout "NO!" and convince myself let alone anyone else.

I can't explain without dredging up the details, so I can't explain.

I love my friends.  Whether I told them to defend me or not is irrelevant.  They perceived an injustice being done to me.  They didn't feel comfortable letting me take it on alone.  They stuck up for me.  They defended me.  They supported me.  And some of them suffered for it.  Some of them are still suffering for it from what I've heard.  There were repercussions for them...but I smell like a rose.

How they handled their defense of me also isn't relevant.  Whether I agreed with their approaches or not, the aim was to defend and support me.  Just as the other party's friends defended and supported him.  I don't blame them.

And I too cavalierly dismissed the losses they sustained during the fight because things were starting to settle down...cooler heads were prevailing...the dust was settling...yay!  Meanwhile they were removing themselves from causes they loved, leaving support groups to which they belonged, and I was...I was in the clear.

What I keep coming back to is what I'd try to teach my kids about the situation.  It's hard to explain the conundrum without getting too deeply into the disagreement.  But what do you do when the price of peace is to withdraw your support from your friends?  How important is that peace?

I'm sorry I wasn't the friend to you that you were to me.  I can only try to do it right next time.  I'm still the same guy you defended in the first place.  I hope we can get back to that place again.  Soon.