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Thursday, January 3, 2013

Meanwhile Back at The Vineyard...

Probably for the best, this post will be short-lived since tomorrow's Childswork auto post will go live at 6:00 a.m.  NEVERTHELESS...this story needed to be told.

I made wine with my friend Jimmy.  I've been making beer for more than 20 years, but until about two months ago, I had never made wine.  Jimmy asked if I wanted to go in on a batch with him and it sounded good to me, so we went to the wine store and bought the ingredients and the equipment and I made up a bitchin' project schedule and then over the course of about four nights...we ...vinted?  I don't know what they call that.  We made wine.

So the wine-making ended in late November, and it says to wait until it's been in the bottle AT LEAST a month before you try it, so I decided I'd crack it open at our traditional Christmas Eve dinner.

Every year on Christmas Eve we invite the immediate family over for a lobster/filet supper after church.  Jimmy and I had made Pinot Noir, and Pinot Noir is a a pretty good...it's not quite red, it's not at all white sort of wine that straddles the surf and the turf.  It's a wine they say you should serve if you're only serving one.  And I wasn't confident enough of it that it was the only bottle on hand, we had cabernet and sauvignon blanc on hand as well, and the way I figured it was after dinner, when everyone had already had a couple glasses anyway...what better time to try it out.

That's when I uncorked "Jims' Enormous Pinot".

Oh, did I mention that I named the wine, "Jims' Enormous Pinot"?  Because I did.  And the way I figured it, the looks of discomfort or amusement made it worth it.

It was good, and I served it in a gigantic bottle, so the name was doubly apt.

Plus making people feel uncomfortable was just the gravy I was hoping for.

What I did NOT expect, however, was having the tables somehow turned on me, and the feelings of discomfort as my mother said, "Oh, Jim, your enormous pinot is delicious!"  or my mother-in-law tell me she'd wanted just a little taste of my enormous pinot because she didn't want to get filled up.  And somehow it wasn't as amusing as I'd anticipated...

But it was still pretty damned amusing.

The label...

21 comments:

  1. The process of making wine is called vinification. The science of making wine is oenology. And no, I did not have to look this up. This is what happens when you major in restaurant management in college! My parents are so proud...

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    1. Not only that, you are on your way to becoming an oenologist. YOU can look that one up! lol

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    2. I don't have to...you told me in the previous comment!

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  2. Once you go pinot noir, you never go back.

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  3. And I was so inspired by the naming of Jim's half of the wine we made that I named my half "Jim's Magnificently [and] Enormous Pinot...sorry Jim one of the benifits of naming mine second. I have also decided not to serve it to my mom, my mother in law or my sister.

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  4. And I was so inspired by the naming of Jim's half of the wine we made that I named my half "Jim's Magnificently [and] Enormous Pinot...sorry Jim one of the benifits of naming mine second. I have also decided not to serve it to my mom, my mother in law or my sister.

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  5. Ha! This made me laugh out loud. Your mother-in-law wins a million points.

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  6. Well, now I feel both fancy AND sexually harrassed. A fine way to start the new year, I say.

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  7. Haaaaahahahaha! I have to admit, I'm glad the tables got turned. Haha! Serves you right!

    Seriously, though, I'm glad your enormous Pinot was so popular, and I love the label. Good stuff.

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    1. yeah, it DOES serve me right. thanks!

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  8. Dammit, Jim, you should've put a "spit-take" or "beverage snarfing" alert at the top of this post! LMAO!

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    1. but then who would I laugh at as they clean pepsi off their monitor?

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