|See. . . missing toof.|
When Lily lost her top tooth my friend Bec sent my daughters a present. It was a book she wrote to promote inclusion and acceptance of special needs kids, and it was (and is) called Jake Learns the Tooth. It was about losing teeth, and the tooth fairy, and illustrated by kids! And she thought given Lily’s love for books, and the subject matter, she’d really like it! (and she did). What I somehow failed to register was that Bec lives in
Australia. So it was sort of amazing to see it show up
complete with book (for Lily) and a calendar of animals down under (for
Emma). Because I was trying to be
discrete (First. Time. Ever.
It’s totally overrated) I was sort of cryptic with my
acknowledgement. I didn’t want people
knowing she’d sent a gift for the kids because then maybe all her fans would be
pissed that THEY didn’t get gifts for their kids. The unfortunate side effect was that it made
it look like we were involved in some sort of illicit trade. The following occurred on her facebook “wall”. I'll add the . . . "directors comments" in bold.
Jim Walter: A package was received. . . it was filled with goodies. LOVE it! Also. . . and this is probably going to make me sound a little dull. . . I had no idea this was an international shipment.
Bec: Could that sound more dodgy? I think not :)
Jim Walter: You're all secretive and stuff. . . I didn't want to say too much. BUT. . . it does sound pretty dodgy. What kind of operation are you running here, anyway?
Bec: LOL secretive. Yeah that makes it sound WAY less dodgy.
Jim Walter: You worry too much. What about "secret package that SOMEhow made it through customs" sounds dodgy?
And then. . . THIS happened. A woman who had seen my Target post (which explains that I have an autistic daughter, and which has been seen by many many people) decided to peddle autism snake oil to me. Her name has been changed to protect her. . . um. . . innocence, or whatever.
Shady McShaderson: Jim please watch the video www.abchealthreport.com. Then message me for more info on autisim. You really need to watch this right now - thank you.
I ignored it. Bec then sent me an email that night saying I had groupies and that there was a woman who REALLY needed me to watch something and send her a message right away. She screen capped it. . . and I forgot about it.
Over the course of the next couple days other people approached me. Shady wasn’t able to leave a message on my page because we weren’t friends, but she sent them the same message she left Bec: Please have Jim watch the video right away. Please have him message me.
I can’t remember what prompted me to return to Bec’s page and look for comment except that I love reading her blog on www.snagglebox.com, and so I’d pimped it out to a few friends and was telling them to read her stuff on autism, which is really cleverly addressed, short, sweet, funny, and really informative. And I found it again. And because I was bored and it was lunch time and I had to kill some time, I picked up the thread I’d dropped and decided to have a little fun with it. I’d visited her page and already knew that what she wanted me to watch was something extolling the virtues of “protandim” and that she was in fact, a direct seller OF protandim.
Jim Walter: why do I need to watch it? And what information do you think I need on autism? This is all very mysterious.
Shady McShaderson: Have you watched the video I sent you?
Jim Walter: have. . . have you answered the question I asked you?
Shady McShaderson: Jim go to pubmed.gov. Type in oxidative stress and autism to see studies done. Protandim reduces oxidative stress 40% to 70% in all mammals 100% of the time.
Mammals? What the . . .
Shady McShaderson: The reason I sent this is due to your post about autism.
Jim Walter what's protandim? Is that orange juice?
At this point I had decided to play the sporns card. For a quick refresher. . . Flush the Sporns!
Shady McShaderson: No Jim Protandim is what is talked about in the ABC Prime Time Investigative Report. Please watch the video and go to pubmed.gov
Jim Walter: is it to rid the intestines of sporns? My daughter is already being treated for sporns.
Shady McShaderson: That I can't tell you, however I can find out some information for you.
Jim Walter: One treatment at a time, I think. Once we've flushed the sporns, we can look at other treatments, but I think you'll agree, sporns first, diet second, THEN polish it off with some oxidative stress relief!
Shady McShaderson: Does this mean you watched the video? You can help a lot of people look into this.
And I couldn’t keep her to myself. . . it wouldn’t have been fair. I invited friends.
Jill Smo: Jim... have you watched the video about sporns that I emailed you?
Jim Walter: that's how I got on the citric flush treatments, Jill.
Jim Walter: Shady, how did YOU learn about Protandim? It's not exactly a household name, like sporn flushing.
Jill Smo: If you want, you can message me for information about autism. I happen to know quite a bit about it, what with me having a product to sell and all
Jim Walter: I was reading some of the information I could find about it on the internet and saw that it's used for mammals. My daughter IS a mammal, or at least her doctor has told me as much, so it MAY actually be useful for her!
Bil Hooper: Jim... I am so glad you told me about the Sporns! I have an appointment to get my son sprayed next month, and tomorrow we start the UV HyperD and Vitamin C flush. Like you said, his lucidity and engagement is *markedly* different; plus he's complaining _a lot_ more than usual.
Jill Smo: See, I knew that the "being a mammal causes autism" theory was right
Shady McShaderson: Yes it will be useful for her!
Cynthia Anastasia Beaverhausen Beckstead: OMG. IM A MAMMAL!!! Cue panic attack in 3...2...1... I blame the evil, evil sporns.
Shady McShaderson: All of us have oxidative stress and can benefit from Protandim. Watch the video at www.abchealthreport. Com. Then go to pubmed.gov and type in oxidative stress and panic attacks for example and will show studies done.
Jill Smo: So, Shady, are you aware of how one could purchase said product, which appears to have an amazing ability that I'm sure you're just telling us about out of the goodness of your heart?
Shady McShaderson: Jim I started on Protandim a year and a half ago due to I have had problems with my lungs since moving from NV desert to the AZ desert. I have been in the hospital twice and on and off steroids to help me breath. In May of this year when doing breathing tests 2 have improved from a year ago and I have stayed out of the hospital and have not been on steroids all the time.
Two of her many lungs have improved by using Protandim! AMAZING.
Bil Hooper: Just a thought-- is it possible to smoke Protandim?
Jill Smo: Oh, yeah, I would totally smoke it
Bil Hooper: I heard smoking relieves stress.
Jill Smo I've heard that, too!!! I watched a video about it
Shady McShaderson: Jill Smo yes you can go to my site to order this. www.LifeVantage. com/ShadyMcShaderson. If you want to purchase a bottle you will want to click on "join LifeVantage" on the green box then the next page you will click "preferred customer". Honestly I'm sharing this information with you cause it is important to let people know about this product and how it will help them!
NOT because she sells it for a living!
Shady McShaderson: Bill-no smoking Protandim!!! It is a pill!!!
Cynthia Anastasia Beaverhausen Beckstead: Dying. Just...dying.
Jim Walter: My daughter has problems with pills. Is it possible to freebase or snort protandim?
It made me actually laugh out loud at myself to type that question. Nobody is more amused by me than I am.
Cynthia Anastasia Beaverhausen Beckstead: Oh look. I'm dead.
Bil Hooper: Even better.
Charity Lyn Bedoy: Is Shady trying to say if we purchase her product it will "cure" our childrens autism?
Jill Smo: You can crush up a pill and then smoke it. Or so I've heard
Shady McShaderson: You can crush the pill and put in applesauce or whatever and swipe it that way. Many people do this for their dogs cats and horses.
And that was when Shady compared giving supplements to children with autism to giving pills to their dogs/cats/horses. . . without any understanding of the implication. And frankly, I don’t think she meant anything by it.
Jim Walter: hmmm. . . can it replace dog/cat/horse food in my daughter's diet, or should I still be feeding her that stuff as well?
Shady McShaderson: Chariots-- Protandim does not cure or prevent. It is scientifically proven to reduce the oxidative stress that is the root cause of many diseases.
Charity Lyn Bedoy: ^^^^ AHAHAHAHA
Charity seemed unconvinced by Shady . . .
Shady McShaderson: Charity-/ sorry my fingers spelled your name wrong!!
Stupid fingers. . . do you know if you take Protandim it makes your fingers better spellers?
Jill Smo: Jim you can't cut out the dog food diet. I saw a video that said it was the BEST thing you could do for your kid
Charity Lyn Bedoy: I push my dogs pills in cheese and toss it in the air and they inhale it!
Shady McShaderson: Well Jim that's up to you on her diet!!!!
Jim Walter: yeah, probably better keep the dog food in there at LEAST.
Jill Smo: Dog food has essential, um... corns
Shady McShaderson: HAHAHA
I started to suspect she might actually know we were fucking with her. . .
Jim Walter: plus it keeps my daughter's coat shiny.
Bil Hooper: Jim, she means that you can obviously freebase/crush/snort a pill OR sneak it into food.
Jim Walter: Hey, Bec, I want to thank you for emailing me the comment, I might have missed it otherwise.
Because Bec is in
Australia. . . she’s sleeping
through this entire exchange, all of which is occurring on her Facebook page.
Patty Porch-Hooper: So wait, doesn't this verify the theory that breathing oxygen causes autism????
Shady McShaderson: You are funny!! Just check out the science behind Protandim! Any questions send to me at my email email@example.com or message me in f/b
She’s GOT to be onto us at this point.
Linda Kimpton: I have learnt soooo much from this discussion. I'm off to the supermarket for orange juice, and dog food, and we're going to get right on to reducing my son's oxygen so he has less oxidative stress! Cross your fingers, he could be cured by the weekend!
Linda’s also an Aussie. . . but she was awake. Why so sleepy all the time, Bec?
Bil Hooper: If that were true, my horse would have autism.
Jim Walter: if your horse has autism. . . have you seen the video on abchealthreports.com? Also, visit pubmed.gov. . .
Patty Porch-Hooper Bil Hooper, I'm pretty sure ole Sparky DOES have autism. Ever notice how he never makes eye contact?
Charity Lyn Bedoy: @Shady in 30 alcoholics. woohoo well if it worked on them I'll give it to my boy!! How about you have them pass FDA studies and maybe I'll think about it.
Okay. . . on a more serious note, what Charity is referring to here is the information on Protandim. Because it is considered a supplement and not a drug, FDA does not need to approve it. Also, according to what I read, protandim was only ever used in trials on human beings twice. Nothing more recent than 2006. In one study, they used it on recovering alcoholics. From Wikipedia http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Protandim:
“Human clinical studies
Two studies of Protandim have been conducted in human subjects. One of these studies, a non-randomized, non-controlled trial, reported that Protandim increased the levels of the antioxidant enzymes SOD and catalase while reducing TBAR levels.
The second study, a double-blinded, randomized, placebo-controlled trial published by McCord and colleagues in 2012, examined the effect of Protandim on pulmonary oxidative stress and alveolar epithelial permeability in 30 recovering alcoholics. Protandim (14 subjects at a dose of 1350 mg/day; double the daily dose recommended by the manufacturer) or placebo (in 16 subjects) were administered for 7 days. Relative to placebo-treatment, Protandim had no significant effects on alveolar epithelial permeability or on oxidative stress, epithelial growth factor, fibroblast growth factor, interleukin-1β, and interleukin-10 levels in bronchoalveolar lavage fluid. Treatment with placebo, however, produced a significant reduction in plasma levels of TBARS, a marker of oxidative stress (i.e., lipid peroxidation).”
In other words, of the two human trials conducted, one was non-controlled, not randomized reported success (paid for by the manufacturer). The other reported no significant reduction in oxidative stress, just on a MARKER of oxidative stress.
Jim Walter: I'm not sure whether my daughter is an alcoholic though. . . even though I AM convinced she's a mammal, or at least has mammalian tendencies. . . will it still work?
Shady McShaderson: Linda please watch the video and let me know your thoughts!
I tried to return the discussion to what was important. . . getting Bil and Patty’s horse proper treatment for his autism.
Jim Walter: how is he in social situations?
Patty Porch-Hooper: And Linda Kimpton I have heard that plastic bags are good for reducing oxygen levels. Hey! Plastic bags cure autism!
Linda Kimpton: OMG Patty, I was totally going to get free plastic bags when I bought the OJ and the dog food! This works out perfectly!
Shady McShaderson: @Charity Since Protandim is NOT a drug FDA doesn't need to be involved- it is 5 natural ingredients. As far as alchemical the damage done to their cells Protandim will help.
Jim Walter: Thank god we don't need to worry about the FDA interfering with treatment.
Shady McShaderson: Jim and all others-you need to look at this and the science behind it
Patty Porch-Hooper: Social situations? Well, he bites people’s fingers and flaps his tail a lot. I'm pretty sure he's stimming.
Jim Walter: biting is NOT acceptable. Have you done any
type stuff with him?
Cynthia Anastasia Beaverhausen Beckstead Ooh goody! I have plastic bags! Autism beware. By the way I rose
Cynthia was struggling with her cell phone. . . it kept posting to Facebook before she’d finish what she was typing.
Bil Hooper: I'm totally overwhelmed now. I need to smoke.
Cynthia Anastasia Beaverhausen Beckstead: From the dead after I bought Shady's product. It works!
Jim Walter: Try smoking protandim!
Charity Lyn Bedoy: Shady there is no science behind it, that’s why it isn’t sold as anything other than a "supplement" it can’t be sold as a prescription or actually claim to "cure" because it doesn’t. I'd have better luck taking him to a O2 bar daily.
Cynthia Anastasia Beaverhausen Beckstead Protandim: cures death.
Jim Walter: have you TRIED taking him to an O2 bar?
I played my Jenny McCarthy card. Because frankly, if Charity hasn’t taken her son to an oxygen bar daily in order to cure his oxidative stress (which according to Shady is the cause of MANY diseases) then frankly, she’s not a warrior mother. . . clearly she’s just in this for the attention. <--sarcasm.
Cynthia Anastasia Beaverhausen Beckstead: Oxygen causes death.
Shady McShaderson: Charity you are wrong! Go do some research on it!
Cynthia Anastasia Beaverhausen Beckstead: Studies show that 100% of people who inhale oxygen die. True story.
Charity Lyn Bedoy: No Jim but I think I WILL!! Because geez that must be it!! Come on everybody lets go!!!
Bil Hooper: Flush Sporns!
http://www.slideshare.net/ohtheapathy/the-danger-of-sporns The Danger of SPORNS!
Jim Walter: Wait! before we go. . . let's review the science behind it. Have they tried it on mammals or alcoholic humans?
Cynthia Anastasia Beaverhausen Beckstead: Umm Chariot? I'll go with you- but only for sporn flushing research.
Shady McShaderson: Until you do the research on it you don't know what you are talking about. I'm just sharing the information with you.
Cynthia Anastasia Beaverhausen Beckstead: No. What you're doing is attempting to sell snake oil. Nice try though. Best laugh I've had in a while. Carry on.
I think this is the point where Cynthia starts to snap.
Flannery Sullivan: I'm worried about my child's oxidation. Does anyone know if a product that would help that?
That line made me laugh out loud like child.
Cynthia Anastasia Beaverhausen Beckstead: Snake oil causes oxidation.
Jim Walter: wait. . . you want ME to do the research on it? Using my daughter?
Cynthia Anastasia Beaverhausen Beckstead: Flannery- carbon dioxide.
Shady McShaderson: @ Cynthia. Research it then talk to me.
Dawn Hentrich I...can't...breathe...too much WIN.
Dawn’s oxidative stress started to rise. . .
Cynthia Anastasia Beaverhausen Beckstead: Or a tinted shield.
Shady McShaderson: Jim. Research the sites!
And STILL she bravely fights on!!
Cynthia Anastasia Beaverhausen Beckstead: Yes. I'll be sure to do that. I'll ignore my background in health science first.
Flannery Sullivan: What if my son will only eat the dog biscuits, but not the actual kibble? Should I try him on the wet food?
Charity Lyn Bedoy: @Shady well if of course I'll believe the "research" your company did. While I am at it I am going to by the Tummy Tuck Belt too!!
Jim Walter: I can't now. . . I have to go home. As it is, I've stayed 15 minutes past when I'd normally leave. Thank you, Shady. Really. For everything.
Shady McShaderson: If you Cynthia have that background you will find the research interesting.
Shady McShaderson: You ate welcome Jim and send me an email
Cynthia Anastasia Beaverhausen Beckstead: Ooh that tummy tuck belt. I was THISCLOSE to ordering that last night but I was too oxidized to get to the phone. Please order two. Thanks. You're a pal.
Cynthia Anastasia Beaverhausen Beckstead: I did NOT eat Welcome Jim. I resent that remark. I did however eat all of the Mallomars. Does that count?
Shady McShaderson: @ charity. Go to the site and you will see the universities that did their own studies
Cynthia Anastasia Beaverhausen Beckstead: That's why I need the tummy tuck belt.
Shady McShaderson: Jim sorry-- you are welcome!
Such a sweet girl.
More lols followed. . .
Flannery Sullivan What if the wet dog food gives him the runs. That's why I stopped giving it to the dog.
Charity Lyn Bedoy: @Cynthia we can wear them at the O2 bar!!
Cynthia Anastasia Beaverhausen Beckstead: We will be HAWT! I hope they come in matching colors to coordinate with our nasal cannulas. I'd hate to clash.
Charity Lyn Bedoy: @Flannery well you know maybe you'll have to alternate between the cheese and wet dog food
Flannery Sullivan: Wait, Shady. Is your product for dogs also? Because my dog won't make eye contact or chase the ball, he just seems like he's in his own world.
Flannery Sullivan: I love my dog enough to do whatever it takes to make him like the other dogs.
Charity Lyn Bedoy: ohh mine too!! And he is afraid of the wood floors in my bedroom cries like a lil baby!!
Shady McShaderson: @Flannery. Many people are giving it to their dogs, cats, horses and it is helping them! What does your dog have?
Cynthia Anastasia Beaverhausen Beckstead: My dog is afraid of everything too! He chases balls though. Maybe he isn't that far gone yet.
Cynthia Anastasia Beaverhausen Beckstead: And then my head exploded. Omfg
Uh oh. . . no. . . no THIS is when Cynthia started to get pissed. I’m almost certain.
Cynthia Anastasia Beaverhausen Beckstead: AAAAAAAGGGGGGHHHHHHH
Flannery Sullivan: Shady, he might have worms. I also worry a lot about Rickets.
Shady McShaderson: @ Flannery email me at firstname.lastname@example.org
Cynthia Anastasia Beaverhausen Beckstead: Yes Flannery. Get on that, wouldya?
Charity Lyn Bedoy: @Shady will it cure dumbassness? Because I know people that suffer from that and I think it's caused from a lack of O2 because their heads are up their booties..
Flannery Sullivan: Should I send pictures of my dog for diagnostic purposes?
Charity Lyn Bedoy: Daniel you MUST purchase this not medication but supplement for your boy.. It's not FDA approved and it works on humans and animals.. HURRY it will cure his oxidative stress!! We have decided to use wet dog food to give it to our kids... what do you think?
Shady McShaderson: @ Flannery if you would like
Then Cynthia lowers the boom on sporn flushing.
Cynthia Anastasia Beaverhausen Beckstead: Shady - Wow. I've gone from amused to pissed the hell off now. Bad move. Bad. You think its ok to peddle your nonsense that has not been tested safely AND you think it's ok to try to manipulate parents into using their children as guinea pigs for your own financial gain. I have no doubt you will sell that crap to some desperate, uninformed parents. You will no doubt make money from those desperate enough to administer bleach enemas to their kids. You make me sick. I don't know how you can look at yourself in the mirror. You are nothing but a bottom dwelling parasite and deserve to be treated that way. You disgust me and you should be ashamed of yourself. don't even bother responding. I'm out.
It probably had to be said. . .
But I SUSPECT Shady extricated herself quickly from the discussion at that point. I never saw another response. That didn’t stop the party from continuing in her honor, however.
Flannery Sullivan: Cynthia, I have to cure my dog's Rickets and autism. It's like you don't care about my dog, or his sporns.
Charity Lyn Bedoy: @Flannery your dog can go to the O2 bar with us and wear a tummy tuck belt!!!
Charity Lyn Bedoy: @Cynthia, she reminds me of Snake oil salesman..
Jim Walter: Wait a minute...I wonder if she's friends with the sporns guy!
Charity Lyn Bedoy: Maybe she IS the sporns guy!!!
Jim Walter: I'll bet if we watch abchealthreports.com it tells us.
Jill Smo: OH GOD. Can't... breathe.... *gasp*
Sporns killed Jill Smo at that point.
Charity Lyn Bedoy: Maybe it will tell us where Hoffa is buried, where the money from D.B. Cooper is buried (I could use it) tell me if Bigfoot is real and if so where I can find him because I'd like to photobomb the bastard, if Elvis and Tupac still alive (I think they must be with Carmen SanDiego and Waldo) settle once and for all the JFK conspiracy, why my cats sleep all day and think my bed is a rave at night...
Jim Walter: I don't think the science shows that....
At this point, people started sharing the thread and more and more people started reading it. . . and Bec slept on. . . soooo sleepy. While I hate to leave anyone out, I WILL link to the thread at the end of this post so you can decide to visit if you wish. There are some really funny lines delivered after the fact, and let’s face it, if you’re reading this, you could use a few laughs at the expense of sporns-flushing salespeople.
And then Bec woke up with some BS about going to bed really late and THAT’s why she didn’t see the post. . .
Bec: Okay people WTF IS GOING ON??? I was up until 3AM trying to work out why FB is dicking me over and deleting all of September from my timeline and I wake up to this...so confused right now...
Jim Walter: I um...remembered you told me someone wanted to talk to me...
Charity Lyn Bedoy: Shady is a wonderful lady trying to sell us these amazing pills that will cure any mamal of pretty much anything that ails ya
Bec: * drags tired ass all the way to top of comments to work out if armageddon has happened due to bacon shortage *
Charity Lyn Bedoy: umm we are making plans for that.. shhh it's a secret!!
Bec: OH. MY. GOD. It's like Christmas morning and Santa just brought me the BEST PRESENT EVER!!
Bec: Thank you Santa Jim.
Kelly Blume Albrecht: THIS IS THE BEST PARTY I'VE EVER BEEN TO
Bec: This is the best party I've turned up 5 hours late to when everyone is passed out drunk on my lawn! Oh and there's a chance I may have flagged some of you as spam because I'm half asleep and my brain is playing some serious catch up here, I can't be expected to click in the right place... Or maybe it's the sporns...
Charity Lyn Bedoy: Shady has a pill for that
That was a nice natural ending to the post. . . though the discussion continued. I encourage you to read the rest of it in its entirety at http://www.facebook.com/Snagglebox/posts/501943516501418?notif_t=feed_comment
On that page you’ll see Shady’s real name, so I'm not sure why I bothered protecting it. And I want to say this: I have read some information on Protandim. I can’t tell you whether it will help your child/dog/horse/other mammal’s oxidative stress. But if you’re interested, look into it. I am NOT. This post, despite obvious hilarity, is not meant to say that the product does not work.
Is it my opinion that it does not? Absolutely. Am I qualified to make that sort of judgement? Meh. . . probably not. So take my mockery with a grain of salt.
Is it my opinion that it does not? Absolutely. Am I qualified to make that sort of judgement? Meh. . . probably not. So take my mockery with a grain of salt.
Peddling hope is cutthroat business. Shady’s fallback position was always “watch the video!” That’s good. Because she only ever really said Protandim helped HER, and because she never claimed cures and essentially fell back to “watch the video” and “do the research” I can’t really fault her TOO much. Her advice is sound. DO THE RESEARCH.
But. . . don’t come to me with your demands to look into the miracle cure du jour (aka sporn flushing) and expect my prompt obedience and resultant happy dance at the news. There are too many OTHER miracle cures people are rushing to market that I ALSO need to research.
And to quote Miracle Max, “You rush a miracle man, you get rotten miracles.”