Housekeeping

(Wikipe-tan, cleaning up)

A few housekeeping updates...

Apparently today is "Spread the Word to End the Word Day" and it completely escaped my attention (not that I'd have written about it anyway).  But it didn't escape a lot of other people's attentions.  Here are some of the ones I'm aware of:

Jillsmo's version
Jessi's version
Mama Fry's version
John Franklin Stephen's version
Jordan's version

Pick your favorite!  Vote online and qualify for fabulous prizes*

*subject to availability

So that's the first thing.  It's weird, because I have acquaintances who still use the term.  Even friends.  And up until maybe...5 years ago, I was using it too.  Well, I've changed my viewpoint.  I don't like it anymore.  You don't have to stop saying it.  Just...you know...if you say it, I don't like it.  So you can decide to say stuff I don't like or not and that's really up to you.  But you're kind of a douche if you do.

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Next...leave this website immediately!  Wait...wait...before you go, after you leave, type "justalilblog" in your browser window where you normally would have typed "blogginglily.blogspot.com".  Okay, I'll wait here.  If you're not back yet it's because you typed the fucking quotation marks.  DON'T TYPE THE QUOTATION MARKS.  Okay.  Waiting again.

WELCOME BACK!  Yeah, I bought the domain name (Surprise, Leslie!  You can't get your nails done this week.  It's no longer in the budget) so that when people are looking for the blog now all they have to remember is the name of the blog, not that arcane blahblah.blahblah.blah nonsense. 

The idea is that at some point I'll self host...meaning no longer on blogger.  But I'm not really sure what my time table is for that.  In the meantime, all me having my own domain name means is that when you type "justalilblog" it redirects you to "blogginglily.blogspot.com" so that you don't have to remember the address, just the name.

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What else...the wine tasting is this weekend.  I'll post my presentation along with some pics of the event.  I'll talk about the theme and the food and the wine next week some time, but last night Leslie and I finalized our pairing.  And it is BOMB, yo!  There were some snafus along the way that created some stress in our lives related to fucking up the wine or the food or the wine AND the food along the way.  But as of last night we're feeling pretty bullet proof.  And that's not just the wine talking.  Or maybe it is.

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For those of you on Facebook, I reposted a couple pieces from here on my Huffpo profile.  It tends to get more traffic than my little blog here does, but if you're not on Facebook, you're not missing anything.  I just took two posts... 

1. http://blogginglily.blogspot.com/2014/02/a-letter-to-my-autistic-daughter-to-be.html
2. http://blogginglily.blogspot.com/2014/01/love-for-nt-parents.html

...removed the eff bombs and other swearing, edited out a lot of the personal information and sidebar garbage, and posted the guts of the posts.  Huffpo brings in a lot of traffic.  For example, the letter to Lily got retweeted on Twitter by Holly Robinson Peete.  If you don't know what that means, then don't worry about it.  Essentially, it just means someone with a GIANT audience of followers posted my article on her twitter feed so that they could all see it.

To put that into social media perspective:
When I tweet (@blogginglily):  2,008 followers can see my post.
When Huffpo tweets (@huffpostparents):  168,000 followers can see my post.
When Holly Robinson Peete tweets (@hollyrpeete):  475,500 followers can see my post.

That's why RT's are important to twitter users.  When I post, the only people on twitter who see that post are my followers.  When Huffpo or Holly repost or post my stuff, I'm instantly seen by 80 to 290 times as many people.

It's similar to sharing on Facebook, but unlike twitter, it's really hard to tell how many people actually saw the posts.  The NT parent one got shared a lot.  The Letter didn't get as much play.

This goes to show that I really have no idea what stories will really strike a chord with people and what they will enjoy but not share.  It's like the time I told Leslie that "Dancing with the Stars" would be canceled during the first season.  

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That's all for now.  I'm going to try to make a point of posting more frequently.  That may mean that the stories I post are less touching or poignant or autism-driven or whatever...maybe it'll be a story about how I went to the grocery store and they were out of butter lettuce so I had to use bibb instead...I don't know.  I'm just going to make my posts more frequent so they seem more current and timely and anchored "in the now".

Epilogue: In Which I Speak with the Store Manager

Magical horse. . . no affiliation.

Alright. . . not to beat this wonderful magical horse to death. . . but:

I finally got a chance to speak with the Target store directly about the cashier.

When I originally posted I had no idea the sort of attention it would receive, but once I realized it, I probably should have made it more of a priority to talk directly to the store.  Last night I resolved to get them at the very least on the phone.  I was too late.  This morning, eight days after the wall post, I spoke to the store manager.

Having never experienced this sort of viral interest in something I've said or written, I wasn't properly prepared for it.  What I learned from it was probably something that I should have already known; that when you post something for public scrutiny. . . the public will scrutinize it.  Hard.

There are things I would have done differently, there are specifics I would have left out.  There are rumors that I would have investigated prior to dismissing.  Looking back I know my heart was in the right place. . . but once the shit hit the fan, I probably should have reacted more quickly.

Right. . . I know. . . the store manager. . . I'm getting to that.  First, my apologies:

1)  I am sorry that I so cavalierly dismissed the notion that Target was anti-gay.  While hundreds of comments addressed this so thoroughly that I can't do them more justice. . . Target's CEO contributed to the campaign of a very anti-gay MN gubernatorial candidate.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2010/07/27/target-homophobia-ceo-gre_n_660990.html

Their rationale was that he was pro-business, but when you back someone like that, you have to know that you're backing ALL of him. . . not just the pro-business part.  When you give hundreds of thousands of dollars to support a candidate, you probably should have made your peace with his whole platform.  Because people will find out.  

I've seen references to things Target corporate has done since to attempt to repair the damage they did to their relationship with the LGBT community, but it's really not my fight.  As I've tried to make clear, I'm not a Target corporate apologist, I just liked that the store hired a guy with autism.  The point is, I shouldn't have dismissed it without checking it out.  As one reader pointed out, had it been my daughter, and an anti-special needs contribution, would I have just assumed it was a myth, or would I have gone out and investigated it?  I know the answer to that.

Right. . . I know. . . the store manager.  One more thing:

2)  I am even more sorry that I potentially outed or exposed the cashier without knowing whether he was comfortable with that sort of exposure or that acknowledgement.  While I still believe what makes the story great is that he is an autistic (please let's not argue person first about this.  Please!) adult working (in an atmosphere where so many people regardless of diagnosis are unemployed) and doing a fantastic job.  When Huffington Post ran the re-post from my blog, they removed references to the city and the description of the cashier.  I should have done the same thing on my own blog post right at that moment.  Prior to that, I hadn't even considered the ramifications. . . but when they spiked it out in the edits. . . I should have done the math.  I have since done the same with my original post.  Of all the people who should be more sensitive to the social (or not so social) nature of autism, I should have been more aware that the enormous public scrutiny might be highly unwelcome.

So I finally spoke to the store manager.  I complimented the cashier.  I explained my concerns.  And she told me this:

He's doing great.  His autism was not a secret.  They told him about the story, specifically that he'd been recognized by a customer for great service (I don't know what else he was told about it).  He was then recognized at a team meeting for his excellent work. . . and given a "team card" (I have no idea what that is) and something else.  I don't know what "something else" was she said, but I'd already said, "what" about a hundred times at that point attempting to confirm bits and pieces of the overall puzzle while we talked so I just felt sorta warm and fuzzy that he'd gotten something out of the deal.  She said he's an asset to the store.  She said he does so many things for them, not just cashiering and that he has a great work ethic.

I told her I was concerned that he might be uncomfortable with the extra attention and she told me that she'd talk to HR to make sure, but that he seemed happy and hadn't come to her with any complaints.

All's well that ends well?  Maybe, with the caveat that I hope I learned my lesson moving forward.  I hope that's the end of it.  I hope that it's all positive and no negative, but I'm a realist.  Still, all things considered, this seems like it's been a good experience for everyone who isn't pissed off about how bad the post jacked up their Facebook news feed for the past week.