Thursday, December 12, 2013

Racing to 20

Alright, so on a whim, I bet someone on Facebook that I could lose 20 pounds faster than she could, and then opened it up to the world, which is why I'm sitting in my office right now, my lunch forgotten at home, eating tofu soup for lunch.

I made the bet on the spur of the moment and sort of cobbled together rules.  Weigh-in was yesterday.  I weigh 194 pounds.  If I'm being honest, when I made the bet I thought I was actually about 205.  I think 185 is a pretty decent target.  Weighing in at 194 was a bit of a surprise, pleasant in a way, but also daunting...because 174 is low, not gaunt or anything, but I haven't been 174 for three years, and I'm not getting any younger.
(pants not shown for clarity)

Regardless of the wisdom of the decision, it won't hurt, and even if I lose the bet, the lost weight on the way will be a win.

This is really day 2.  I forgot my lunch.  Ordinarily that would be a big hurdle, because when I eat out I eat the absolute worst stuff...(see hamburgramsx100 on my instagram feed).  So today I decided to eat at my favorite little Thai place but order pho instead of my usual pad thai.

Pho is "Vietnamese riced noodles with jalapeno pepper, bean sprout, scallion, red onion and thai basil in lightly seasoned beef broth with lime and cilantro for garnish."  Yes.  This sounds like me.  Then because ordering soup for lunch isn't diety enough...I picked tofu as my protein, eschewing chicken, beef or shrimp.

When I picked up my order the kid behind the counter said, "would you like any chopsticks with that?"

And I looked at him quizzically and said, "Isn't it soup?"

He looked sheepishly back, shrugged and gave a little laugh, "Yeah."

"Can you even do that?"

"You can try."

"Yeah, alright, throw some in."

I got back to my office and opened up the bag.  Inside were four containers:  a large container of soup, a smaller container of rice noodles, and two condiment sized plastic containers of jalapenos and sriracha sauce.

Stimey, if you're reading this, first thing I have to do is apologize for mocking you in D.C. for putting ketchup in your soup.  I mean, we knew it was sriracha, but it was funnier to pretend it was ketchup.  So apparently, it's a thing.  You get dump sriracha in it.  So I dumped the whole container in.  And apparently they bring you jalapenos...I don't know, i missed that part of Stimey's I dumped all of those in too.

And then I drank the liquid fire which immolated my esophagus and reacted violently with my stomach.  Think Mauna Loa, but localized in my stomach.  There were rumblings, and the villagers fled.  Now we wait and pray for the dawn.

Yes, you add sriracha.  Yes, you add jalapenos.  But nobody mandates that you must add all of both.

I mixed the noodles into my magma soup and got out my chopsticks.  If you are to eat this soup with chopsticks (it IS possible...mostly) then you should know that there is much slurping and slobbering, and splattering, and that if you have an iPhone, your warranty will not cover moisture damage and you should move it.  Also, do not order this soup on a first date.
liquid hot magma, but to eat!

Ultimately, I'm proud of myself for ordering soup instead of a cheeseburger or pizza or whatever, and the bonus is that I feel confident that my stomach contents are even now being totally liquified and I'm going to be doing an involuntary "cleanse" at some point today which I'm hopeful will not be during the commute home.

Bon Apetit!


  1. Let me know when your digestive tract returns to normal... I have a few Korean recipes that are guaranteed to burn it right back out -- complete with more tofu!

    P.S. Good luck with the diet :-)

    1. Woot!

      I make a mean pad thai...but I'm not positive it's good diet food.

  2. I looove pho. It's only temporarily filling though hah.

    1. Well, when you think about it, all food is only temporarily filling. It temporarily filled me enough to make it until supper!

  3. I saw you post about this on FB a couple of days ago and I almost jumped on board, but I'm already losing a fitness challenge with my husband this month, so I'm not sure I can take another drubbing. I do have to say, though, that this apology from you is all the win I need. Boo. Yah.

    1. can't lose this one. There are like 60 people involved in it. To participate is to win!