tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6873182308469051103.post6633502992066197581..comments2024-01-20T05:43:50.949-05:00Comments on Just a Lil Blog: It's Never Black & White (And I don't mean Oz)Jimhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11538573774184028004noreply@blogger.comBlogger38125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6873182308469051103.post-63202940966873871852013-03-20T15:17:36.880-04:002013-03-20T15:17:36.880-04:00We're not inviting him to my daughter's ne...We're not inviting him to my daughter's next party, that's for sure.Jimhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11538573774184028004noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6873182308469051103.post-66723278614680797112013-03-20T14:55:20.767-04:002013-03-20T14:55:20.767-04:00For some reason I am stuck on the fact that this h...For some reason I am stuck on the fact that this happened during the previews. You planned so much and handled a new strategy so quickly that his rudeness to Leslie is so unacceptable! (Not that the rudeness to you was any better).Andreahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01294308714313220666noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6873182308469051103.post-4119456146255708322013-03-19T15:45:28.843-04:002013-03-19T15:45:28.843-04:00:) thank you, Ms. Brightside!:) thank you, Ms. Brightside!Jimhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11538573774184028004noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6873182308469051103.post-373197370453137002013-03-19T15:44:35.858-04:002013-03-19T15:44:35.858-04:00You raise some good points, Karen. "You need...You raise some good points, Karen. "You need" is very aggressive and is UNDERSTOOD not to be a talking point or polite invitation to discuss. It is a command, pure and simple. <br /><br />And you're right about another thing too...I am NEVER more aware of the struggles of others...and being sensitive to them...than I am when I am struggling myself. <br /><br />Game/set/match...judgement: The guy's a douchekabob.Jimhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11538573774184028004noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6873182308469051103.post-78962953220002000412013-03-19T12:44:03.581-04:002013-03-19T12:44:03.581-04:00Any first communication from a stranger that start...Any first communication from a stranger that starts with the words "You need..." is not going to make you best buds. Even someone without much in the way of social skills knows this. He was telling you how to parent. Then, he told you how your daughter should behave for whose benefit - yours? Nope. I don't give a s*&_) whether he had something horrible going on in his life or not - and my strong suspicion is not because when you do - you have empathy or, at least, recognize something might be going on in the lives of others and couch your words accordingly. This guy was a selfish, mean-spirited ass. No one can teach a mean spirited ass to recognize where he's gone wrong - that would transform him to an understanding guy. <br /><br />So, it was just an unfortunate set of circumstances that placed him in front of you during Emma's party. Karma will get this guy some day. I hope your responses, which were the height of restrained comebacks btw, burned a hole right through that very thick skull of his and continue to eat away at what little conscience he may have... (As you may have guessed, it's good I'm not the only lawyer in my family because there might be a need someday to bail me out....) ;)Karen V.https://www.blogger.com/profile/02432239210579792788noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6873182308469051103.post-46078947986974378672013-03-19T10:20:51.184-04:002013-03-19T10:20:51.184-04:00I tried to make eye contact with the wife, but she...I tried to make eye contact with the wife, but she shuffled out right behind him. I left them with, "You are a mean person, and you have to live with the, but I am glad that I don't". I sort of said that for her benefit as well...I would have been mortified, but I got the feeling that she was used to that.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6873182308469051103.post-45972294620605584792013-03-19T10:18:15.202-04:002013-03-19T10:18:15.202-04:00:) ((you)):) ((you))Jimhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11538573774184028004noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6873182308469051103.post-82481606702312411932013-03-19T10:14:03.662-04:002013-03-19T10:14:03.662-04:00I am so sorry but I have to respond to your reply ...I am so sorry but I have to respond to your reply Birdie. I recognize the point of blogging is not to only get responses where everyone agrees with you and you are certainly entitled to your opinion. In fact, I rarely ever comment and stay back in the shadow of the blogging world. But I cannot hold back. I do agree that this gentleman (and I use that term loosely)did pay for a ticket like anyone else in that theater and deserved the right to hear the movie. However, if you are a person that really needs it to be quiet whether from personal stress, or asperger type sound sensitivity, then not sure why he and his wife would select a children's movie in the afternoon (when children typically attend) and choose to sit next to a large party of young girls. We did not sit next to him, he chose to sit next to us. Maybe not good judgement on his part. Why did we choose a birthday party to challenge Lily...That was based off of a request from my daughter (the birthday girl) who adores her sister and has not shared many parties with her. Emma got to choose her seats in the theater, and was very proud that she chose seats in the back where Lily typically has had the most success...she could not have foreseen that was going to be the most crowded area in the theater which is why Lily was getting so anxious. Her behaviors began while the lights were on and previews being shown. Jim and I were already in game plan mode. The man had to notice that we were attempting to handle the situation responsibly but did not give us a chance. I moved Lily for her good, and to safe any embarrassment for Emma. Lily had a great time at the movie and did sit on my lap in the end for at least 50% of the time. At the end of the movie, I did go back to address the gentleman. I asked if I could have a moment of his time. I tried to explain the situation of my daughter's birthday party and owned our errors in the situation. I did not feel that we used poor judgement, but were attempting to create a birthday memory for my daughter. None of us could have foreseen the situation, but we had our exit plan ready. I am not sad that we challenged Lily...I think we did right by our girls. I was sad to see that this man refused to see any other side than his own. I did have other patrons apologize to me on his behalf as they left the theater. I was filled with many emotions and clearly still am. On one hand I was proud of our response with the situation, and hopefully set an example to our daughter on how to be a positive advocate for Lily, but i was also sad that I was unable to share in Emma's birthday due to a very impatient and using my words, "mean man".Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6873182308469051103.post-21821935537163641312013-03-19T09:48:11.199-04:002013-03-19T09:48:11.199-04:00This was a hard read; I could easily imagine havin...This was a hard read; I could easily imagine having that kind of experience with Nik. Maybe not at a movie, but *somewhere* where we had to share space with people who don't know, don't understand, or --as Birdie pointed out--may also have their own "stuff" (all encompassing term) going on.<br /><br />I think the biggest takeaway here is this: you and Leslie had a plan and worked it AT LILY'S PACE. That's a win. Emma got to have her beloved sister share her birthday party and already knew it might not look like the average one. WINNING. You showed admirable restraint and (don't fall off your chair) maturity for the sake of your daughters. MORE WINNING. You and Leslie both stood up for Lily's right to have her movie experience, too. SO.MUCH.WIN.<br /><br />Sometimes, winning doesn't always feel good right away. I hope this one settles in and makes you proud. Ish. :-)Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6873182308469051103.post-11019483923971968612013-03-19T09:41:46.611-04:002013-03-19T09:41:46.611-04:00thanks, Birdie.thanks, Birdie.Jimhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11538573774184028004noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6873182308469051103.post-48704235744024084192013-03-19T09:41:13.599-04:002013-03-19T09:41:13.599-04:00:) Thank you, eh.:) Thank you, eh.Jimhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11538573774184028004noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6873182308469051103.post-32916516401056884892013-03-19T09:40:45.334-04:002013-03-19T09:40:45.334-04:00Thanks, Heather.Thanks, Heather.Jimhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11538573774184028004noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6873182308469051103.post-21837474312126037762013-03-19T09:40:35.857-04:002013-03-19T09:40:35.857-04:00ooooh...douchekabob! I LIKE it!ooooh...douchekabob! I LIKE it!Jimhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11538573774184028004noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6873182308469051103.post-37752734576780910152013-03-19T09:40:16.708-04:002013-03-19T09:40:16.708-04:00Thanks, Karla. Did you know Karla and Karma are a...Thanks, Karla. Did you know Karla and Karma are almost the same thing?Jimhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11538573774184028004noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6873182308469051103.post-88215057194752807332013-03-19T09:37:32.121-04:002013-03-19T09:37:32.121-04:00I'm so glad you understood what I was trying t...I'm so glad you understood what I was trying to say, Jim. Maybe the guy reacted because he was a jerk, maybe because he had something going on in his life that made him sensitive. <br /><br />I totally get that you were trying to make Lily part of her sister's birthday celebrations, and quite right too. I bet Emma was really pleased to have her sister there. And I think it's great you had a back-up plan. That's how it works for parents, and you are obviously great parents to both your daughters.Birdiehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06031850587719361167noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6873182308469051103.post-27139905918332347322013-03-19T09:24:51.148-04:002013-03-19T09:24:51.148-04:00Teddy bear soft, not wimpy soft!Teddy bear soft, not wimpy soft!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6873182308469051103.post-76729682039100561492013-03-19T09:09:00.069-04:002013-03-19T09:09:00.069-04:00There is an odd trend happening lately where paren...There is an odd trend happening lately where parents are expected to refrain from bringing their children out in public, on airplanes, anywhere. I understand that your movie bud wanted to watch in peace, but your daughter has a right to experience new things as well. Less judgement and more acceptance from 'mature' adults would help kids learn to navigate the big wide world in whatever capacity they're able to. <br /><br />You showed more restraint than I would have. Canadians are nice, but we also wield a mean hockey stick. ;)Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01822247629222303156noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6873182308469051103.post-4092339112419445932013-03-19T07:31:23.218-04:002013-03-19T07:31:23.218-04:00I'm pretty sure you showed more restraint than...I'm pretty sure you showed more restraint than I would have. I'm sorry you had to deal with the jerk. Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6873182308469051103.post-70316004563227277302013-03-18T22:36:38.435-04:002013-03-18T22:36:38.435-04:00I think what bothers me the most is that he refuse...I think what bothers me the most is that he refused to apologize or back down, even when it was explained to him what was going on. OK, so we've all been annoyed (myself included, which is why I don't go to movie theaters much anymore) by people being loud in theaters. (But to be honest, it's not kids that bug me. Kids will be kids. It's adults and their refusal to turn off their cell phones for a couple of hours. GET OFF MY LAWN! Sorry. Moving on.) And when you stood up to him, he was all bristly, as macho confrontational asshats are known to be. But when Leslie explained to him what was happening, the human response (at least as I see it) would have been to apologize. Or at least to say, "I see what you're saying, and I'm sorry I reacted that way." Or SOMETHING. Not just continuing to stubbornly asshat it up.<br /><br />Also, and on a personal and much less mature note, you and Leslie and the kiddos are my people, and I don't like anyone messing with my people. And now I want to find this man and give him a swirly in the high school locker room. LEAVE MY PEOPLE ALONE YOU BULLYING DOUCHEKABOB.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6873182308469051103.post-60442600198365188862013-03-18T20:38:28.576-04:002013-03-18T20:38:28.576-04:00Awww, Jim. I'm sorry.
For waht it's wort...Awww, Jim. I'm sorry. <br /><br />For waht it's worth, I think you and Leslie were totally on the ball -- give Lily a good challenge, see if she rises to meet it, and then adapt without harming anyone. Brilliantly executed, IMHO.<br /><br />And that poor excuse for a human being that had to have his word? I got one word back to him.... Karma.KCFitchhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04907513801465812861noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6873182308469051103.post-8502299455737595332013-03-18T20:31:10.579-04:002013-03-18T20:31:10.579-04:00:) thanks, Shanell.:) thanks, Shanell.Jimhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11538573774184028004noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6873182308469051103.post-38037592837962484952013-03-18T20:30:11.133-04:002013-03-18T20:30:11.133-04:00That's sort of my point. I wanted to be mad.....That's sort of my point. I wanted to be mad...i wanted it all to be his fault. But I see where he's coming from.<br /><br />I have two issues with what you've said. First "is a birthday treat the day to try challenging Lily?" Yes. No...but yes. We weren't arbitrarily saying "let's use today as a litmus test to determine what Lily can handle." We were saying, "Let's try to make Lily a part of Emma's birthday celebration." There was always the possibility that it wouldn't work. Always. And there was always the escape of me taking her home if she couldn't handle it. No irreversible consequences. No possibility of her being trapped in a horrible situation. If it was too much...I would take her home. So yeah. On Emma's birthday we will always try to let her little sister take part in her celebration. <br /><br />Second. I disagree about our judgement not being great. This is Lily's fourth movie in a theater. Three out of four (I count this one as a success) were successes. The movie hadn't yet started. Lily, once moved, handled it fine. I see no problem with judging that she'd be able to participate. The biggest issue was one not of judgement, but of timing. Obviously by the time the man elected to open his mouth and tell us to quiet her down HE'D had enough. I was stressed out too. But we'd have more than likely moved her regardless, and only because we were trying to force her to sit down was she being loud. So no, I don't think our "judgement" was bad. I think we could have reached a decision to move to Plan B sooner...but I won't fault our judgement. Lily handled the movie just fine.<br /><br />I have no issue with anything else you mentioned. All good stuff. Maybe he was...maybe she was...maybe, maybe, maybe...<br /><br />I don't think he yelled because he thought HE was the bad guy. I think he yelled because he thought WE were the bad guys. He wasn't yelling to be mean spirited. He was yelling because he felt wronged or inconvenienced or...whatever.<br /><br />Like I said...black and white is nice sometimes, when we can just assume that anybody who disagrees with us is a mean, bad man. Jimhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11538573774184028004noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6873182308469051103.post-40341643654481023472013-03-18T20:18:11.123-04:002013-03-18T20:18:11.123-04:00HE might have blamed me...HE might have blamed me...Jimhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11538573774184028004noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6873182308469051103.post-69668483956778040382013-03-18T20:17:56.542-04:002013-03-18T20:17:56.542-04:00:):)Jimhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11538573774184028004noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6873182308469051103.post-78732332693059900332013-03-18T18:53:32.278-04:002013-03-18T18:53:32.278-04:00What I would have wanted to say: "Shut it fuc...What I would have wanted to say: "Shut it fuckface or you'll be picking up your teeth in front of your wife"<br /><br />What I would have said; "Oh, sorry." <br /><br />So, clearly I am super impressed with you telling him off and exercising restraint. Great Job!Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05959416628532627072noreply@blogger.com