tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6873182308469051103.post2268533649475416355..comments2024-01-20T05:43:50.949-05:00Comments on Just a Lil Blog: All for One and One for AllJimhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11538573774184028004noreply@blogger.comBlogger25125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6873182308469051103.post-63134721485625480452013-01-09T16:09:28.106-05:002013-01-09T16:09:28.106-05:00gracias, Karen.gracias, Karen.Jimhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11538573774184028004noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6873182308469051103.post-36409991106441709632013-01-09T15:11:46.873-05:002013-01-09T15:11:46.873-05:00I saw the original post but I felt I couldn't ...I saw the original post but I felt I couldn't really add much to the conversation being as I have only the one kid. But after reading this post, the only thing that stuck out to me is this: "The pictures weren't ever the point. The point was that the pictures led me to realize I wasn't making enough of an effort." Your self-reflection is more than hundreds of thousands of parents give themselves - and that makes you quite special, you know?Karen V.https://www.blogger.com/profile/02432239210579792788noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6873182308469051103.post-29240553061033297872013-01-08T10:39:05.265-05:002013-01-08T10:39:05.265-05:00soooooo much guilt. But self-induced.soooooo much guilt. But self-induced.Jim W.https://www.blogger.com/profile/06406251069086508471noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6873182308469051103.post-8009028288744664542013-01-08T10:24:49.579-05:002013-01-08T10:24:49.579-05:00*socks you on the arm**socks you on the arm*Jim W.https://www.blogger.com/profile/06406251069086508471noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6873182308469051103.post-32008928833090014282013-01-08T09:08:35.853-05:002013-01-08T09:08:35.853-05:00Thinking about doing more and better and then doin...Thinking about doing more and better and then doing it is what it is all about...my guilt grows fast, I water it at least twice a day...my son that needs special attention gets it all...the three others seem to grow of their own accord like magic and I stagger with guilt. I need to do something about it. Þorgerðurhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17781828071173057186noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6873182308469051103.post-29353968728625395012013-01-07T21:29:13.237-05:002013-01-07T21:29:13.237-05:00which is precisely why you're a good dad.
an...which is precisely why you're a good dad. <br /><br />and that's as mushy as i'm gonna get. <br /><br />rolls eyes.<br /><br />whatever. jesshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12741476791827870513noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6873182308469051103.post-74611376992410536682013-01-07T16:53:07.216-05:002013-01-07T16:53:07.216-05:00I do. I mean...*I* think I'm a good dad. I j...I do. I mean...*I* think I'm a good dad. I just feel like I could be doing more.Jim W.https://www.blogger.com/profile/06406251069086508471noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6873182308469051103.post-15990876213585712352013-01-07T10:42:58.870-05:002013-01-07T10:42:58.870-05:00Jim, you're such a good dad. This post brought...Jim, you're such a good dad. This post brought up more for me than just that, but you should know that you are a good dad.Stimeyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09685801693683588805noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6873182308469051103.post-84715062128231485702013-01-07T10:42:24.096-05:002013-01-07T10:42:24.096-05:00YAY for self doubt!YAY for self doubt!Jim W.https://www.blogger.com/profile/06406251069086508471noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6873182308469051103.post-70214293381938791222013-01-07T10:42:06.077-05:002013-01-07T10:42:06.077-05:00In the Game of Parenting you win, or you die.In the Game of Parenting you win, or you die.Jim W.https://www.blogger.com/profile/06406251069086508471noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6873182308469051103.post-53287316223513605142013-01-07T10:38:08.669-05:002013-01-07T10:38:08.669-05:00Yay for you and your involvement with your girls! ...Yay for you and your involvement with your girls! I'm so glad I only have one kiddo to think about, otherwise I would be torturing myself with these same questions.Flanneryhttp://theconnorchronicles.wordpress.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6873182308469051103.post-84611955791706167052013-01-07T09:49:52.975-05:002013-01-07T09:49:52.975-05:00My own brand of self-torture is that my kiddos bot...My own brand of self-torture is that my kiddos both have huge sensory issues, which tend to manifest in the exact opposite way. So the girl will want to make noise with instruments, and this will be agony for the boy. And then one day you cave in and find that they've done the old switch-a-roo and now she hates what she loved and he is torturing her with it. I tell myself that letting them bug the hell out of each other prepares them for a less than tolerant world. You can't really win this parenting game, you can only make sure there are no losers. Spectrummy Mummyhttp://spectrummymummy.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6873182308469051103.post-18037051591519430332013-01-07T09:33:50.034-05:002013-01-07T09:33:50.034-05:00Hmmm...I don't know. I sometimes wonder if a ...Hmmm...I don't know. I sometimes wonder if a therapist would say, "Wow, Jim, you're really well adjusted!" or "You are so messed up." I think the first thing.Jim W.https://www.blogger.com/profile/06406251069086508471noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6873182308469051103.post-59637360441297361222013-01-07T09:32:43.372-05:002013-01-07T09:32:43.372-05:00As many times as I say that I don't care what ...As many times as I say that I don't care what people think, I'm also aware that...I sorta do. At least on some level. That said, I'm not doing it for their approval, but my own tough standards. ;)Jim W.https://www.blogger.com/profile/06406251069086508471noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6873182308469051103.post-59632511474381780082013-01-07T09:31:31.089-05:002013-01-07T09:31:31.089-05:00I'll TRY to send snow to NC, but that is a pre...I'll TRY to send snow to NC, but that is a pretty tall order.<br /><br />*Concentrates really hard*Jim W.https://www.blogger.com/profile/06406251069086508471noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6873182308469051103.post-55172557236548875682013-01-07T09:30:56.309-05:002013-01-07T09:30:56.309-05:00One of the things that I said in the original post...One of the things that I said in the original post to the group was that we need to stop being so hard on ourselves. Pictures DO lie. For every picture of a smiling child having fun at play there are a hundred pictures of them unsmiling and hating life...those just don't make the album. You know?Jim W.https://www.blogger.com/profile/06406251069086508471noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6873182308469051103.post-88805981079998550292013-01-07T09:28:20.083-05:002013-01-07T09:28:20.083-05:00Thanks, Lisa. They're happy. I'm happy. ...Thanks, Lisa. They're happy. I'm happy. I just feel like I can be doing more with them both.Jim W.https://www.blogger.com/profile/06406251069086508471noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6873182308469051103.post-24392494908520284652013-01-07T08:29:06.379-05:002013-01-07T08:29:06.379-05:00You know, I almost dismissed this as relevant to m...You know, I almost dismissed this as relevant to my family since I only have one child. But, after some coffee and reflection, I can see that there's some work for me to do, too. I have many beautiful, funny, or otherwise wonderful pictures of my son. I have few of my son engaged with either myself or my husband. Not that we don't...just that, perhaps, we don't do it ENOUGH, nor do we capture the memories.<br /><br />Kind of an interesting exercise to walk through the mental gallery of photos and realize the focus is not on the entire family...just on our child. Wonder what the shrinks would have to say about that. ;-)Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6873182308469051103.post-34805850468581708992013-01-07T07:54:22.523-05:002013-01-07T07:54:22.523-05:00Every photo that I take and/or post online is of o...Every photo that I take and/or post online is of our daughter. When I mention our son online, people are surprised. "You have a son, too?"<br /><br />The boy is 15, and he's the epitome of the sullen, cranky teenager. He acts like he thinks he's *supposed* to be that way. Having your picture taken isn't cool. Smiling isn't cool. Looking like you're having fun with your dorky family isn't cool. So I've just stopped taking pictures of him. Eric still sneaks a few once in a while, but the majority of the photos are of Ashley. <br /><br />So yes, I know how you feel, but I long ago gave up caring about what other people think of it. It's not worth dealing with the nasty looks we get. *shrugs* Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6873182308469051103.post-68700687893345626772013-01-07T07:38:26.911-05:002013-01-07T07:38:26.911-05:00Dang it Jim, now I am crying. You are an amazing ...Dang it Jim, now I am crying. You are an amazing dad and I know how hard it is to engage our special kiddos - and you have the added challenge of also ensuring that Emma is having fun too. Kudos to you and thank you for sharing this so eloquently. Please send some snow to NC for Peter...Debbyhttp://www.everybodysboy.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6873182308469051103.post-34891531762770767302013-01-07T07:19:55.244-05:002013-01-07T07:19:55.244-05:00We didn't have Facebook when my children were ...We didn't have Facebook when my children were younger. (They are now 18, 16 and 13).<br />I also don't post family photos to Facebook. It's just not what I do.<br /><br />However, because of Facebook, I can see how other families spend their time and I can see that I, myself, am not working hard enough at our family time. <br /><br />I wrestle with this. It is, as you say, easier to just let everyone do what they're doing. They're very happy. However, I know there is more for us to be doing, together, as a family, and that I should be working on it.<br /><br />Thanks for the speak to commonalities, autism or not.<br /><br />AnnieAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6873182308469051103.post-46213954491901351692013-01-07T07:09:26.022-05:002013-01-07T07:09:26.022-05:00I am learning that it is hard not to wonder what o...I am learning that it is hard not to wonder what others think. I also know that if we do we will drive ourselves crazy. Please try not to be hard on yourself. I know I have never doubted that you love both of your girls. I never even questioned who got to take pics more with you. <br />I only have one kid but I am always snapping pics of Angel and his dad (my hubby). Why? Because as shallow as this sounds, sometimes I just do not feel picture ready. There are times when I say oh what the hell and get in the picture. I want Angel to know I was there when he grows up. I understand the feeling of being in the room but not feeling involved with my child. Like when he is on his IPAD and I am tapping away on twitter. Sometimes I feel bad and put the phone down to play with him. I need to work on that. Miz Kphttp://www.sailingautisticseas.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6873182308469051103.post-271513142359958752013-01-07T05:48:38.663-05:002013-01-07T05:48:38.663-05:00I only have one kid but I get it. I have so many p...I only have one kid but I get it. I have so many photos of my and Norrin. But not enough of Me, Norrin & Joseph (my husband). So sometimes when I post pics, I wonder - do people think I'm a single mom or that Joseph's a not involved parent? The truth is, we're out together all the time - Joseph doesn't think about getting in the picture. He's happy taking them. But just like I have my memories documented, I want him to have the same. So I have to remind him to get in the picture.<br /><br />I've seen pictures with you and Emma. I've seen pictures of you and Lily. I've never once thought about twice about it. All I see is how happy your girls are to be with their dad.<br /><br />AutismWonderlandhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16264928687181454025noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6873182308469051103.post-27518517328244872072013-01-07T00:50:01.202-05:002013-01-07T00:50:01.202-05:00haha! Thanks, Tia. I guess all parents are a LIT...haha! Thanks, Tia. I guess all parents are a LITTLE neurotic when it comes to our kids. Jim W.https://www.blogger.com/profile/06406251069086508471noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6873182308469051103.post-72420052680442105772013-01-07T00:43:21.395-05:002013-01-07T00:43:21.395-05:00I feel that way too...with four kids and certain o...I feel that way too...with four kids and certain ones that tend to enjoy the camera more I freak myself out over how we are portrayed. With Ewan my oldest getting so much attention from the world it seems with his autism,but it is his next brother down, Liam- who has stepped into the older sibling shoes wanting to do all the firsts (and therefore more pics it seems). Then I of course over-analyze that Kian is getting overlooked as the typical middle child-because rounding out our 4 is Mira the baby AND the only girl- causing me to flood FB with cute pictures of Kian. After doing this until my brain has bluffed, double bluffed and triple bluffed itself; I come to understand that I'm the only one that really is that critical of myself and most people are way too busy in their own world to worry about whether or not my pictorial evidence represents I'm spending the exact same/fair amount of time with each kid. And if someone is really sitting there and taking count--well that just screams "creepy stalker" right?<br /><br />But anyway very happy you got out with both girls and had some all together time! I do enjoy your Facebook posts and this blog when I find the time, they often bring a smile to my face (as do your friends the NYE commentary on Jenny Mc. was downright roll on the floor funny).Tiahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06897261277717690312noreply@blogger.com